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V 



An Inspiration ? 

In his message to the Fifty-ninth Congress (December, 1905), 
President Roosevelt writes as follows under the caption of 
“Criminal Laws:” 

In my last message I asked the attention of the Con- 
gress to the urgent need of action to make our criminal 
laws more effective, and I most urgently request that you 
pay heed to the report of the Attorney-General on this 
subject. Centuries ago it was especially needful to 
throw every safeguard around the accused. The danger 
then was lest he should be wronged by the State. The 
danger is now exactly the reverse. Our laws and cus- 
toms tell immensely in favor of the criminal and against 
the interests of the public he has wronged. Some anti- 
quated and outworn rules, which once safeguarded the 
threatened rights of private citizens, now merely work 
harm to the general body politic. THE CRIMINAL 
LAW OF THE UNITED STATES STANDS UR- 
GENTLY IN NEED OF REVISION. The criminal 
process of any court in the United States should run 
throughout the entire territorial extent of our country. 

The delays of the criminal laws, no less than of the 
civil, now amount to a very great evil. 

When it is stated that this work was in press when the 
message was issued, the publishers need not say that the great 
cylinders of the press were stopped until Mr. Roosevelt’s words 
could be incorporated between the covers, for either Mrs. Magis- 
trate is so close to the great president as to know his very 
thoughts, or her work is an inspiration. 

The Publishers. 

Houston, Texas, December 5, 1905. 


When Teddy Swings His Stick 


BY 

MRS. MAGISTRATE 



THE GULF PUBLISHING COMPANY 

P. O. Box 552 
HOUSTON, TEXAS 


?Z3 

U) 

CcrfM'J.. 


Copyright, 1905 

By The Gulf Publishing Company 


Linotype Foundry of Miller & Orem 
Press of J. V. Dealy Co. 

Dexter, Engraver 


Chapter 

Chapter 

Chapter 

Chapter 

Chapter 

Chapter 

Chapter 

Chapter 

Chapter 

Chapter 


CONTENTS. 

Introductory. 

1. — The Convict Train. 

2. — A New Order of Things. 

3. — The Last Lights of Civilization. 

4. — Some Revelations. 

5. — Shut Out of the World Forever. 

6. — Reception by Governor Bryan. 

7. — First Hours in Alaska. 

8. — In the Messroom. 

9. — Agreeably Surprised Again and Again. 

10. — The Colonial Railway System. 


5 


“ ‘Shall we continue to 'be governed by laws framed by 
lawyers and administered by lawyers for the benefit of law- 
yers, or shall we have a New Code framed by the people and 
administered by the people for the benefit of the people?’ 

“This proposition, you will remember, was set forth : 

“The causes of the abnormal increase of crime and pauper- 
ism in the United States of America are : 

(1) Our laws are so complicated that they can be used 

to protect rather than punish the criminal popula- 
tion. 

(2) Our methods of punishment are calculated rather to 

increase than diminish crime. 

(3) The wealth of the nation is being concentrated in the 

hands of the few rather than distributed among 
the many, and this wealth so concentrated is a 
standing peril to the peace and welfare of the na- 
tion. 

The only cure for these evils is : 

(1) To adopt a new code of laws so simple that a child can 

understand them and a professional lawyer will 
not be required to interpret them. 

(2) To gradually weed the criminal element out of society 

and banish all confirmed criminals beyond the pale 
of civilization. 

(3) For the government to acquire and control all public 

utilities and prevent the concentration of the wealth 
created by labor. 


8 


INTRODUCTORY. 


“The 'hour has struck, my wife,” said my husband, the judge, 
“marking the beginning of a revolution in our laws and in 
our methods of punishment.” 

Startled by the intense earnestness of my husband, for he 
paced the floor nervously, I sat in silence as hot words leaped 
from his lips and his eyes flashed. 

“The hour has struck,” he repeated, and while he is crystal- 
lizing his great thought as to a way to meet that hour, I will 
review his life and work. 

For a quarter of a century my husband had been a magis- 
trate, and then a state supreme court judge, passing two-thirds 
of his life upon the bench. Day after day during all of these 
years a procession of men and women had passed before him, 
the high and the low, to be sentenced to imprisonment or dis- 
missed with a warning, as the gravity of the charge against 
them warranted and the jury of their fellow-citizens demand- 
ed. The faces of hundreds, aye, thousands, of criminals had 
become so familiar to him that he found creeping into his 
heart a fee-ling of the deepest sympathy for them, and he 
often came home with their eyes haunting him, to ponder over 
their unhappy condition and seek a way to improve it — he 
spent much time in the prisons, talking with their inmates 
and seeking to fathom their minds — planning how to meet 
and turn back the cyclone of crime which sweeps over the 
continent continuously, now taking the form of hatchets in 
the hands of “inspired women,” then the form of the torch 
and stake in the hands of “the best people” in some Northern 
or Southern community, anon the looting of a bank or a city, 
or a “frenzied financial transaction.” It was a tremendous 
problem, worthy of the thought of the patron's best sons. 

9 * 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“The hour has struck,” the judge repeated, “and you will 
do me a favor, my wife, if you will have luncheon served 
now, so that I will not be interrupted in the relation of a 
dream I had last night, in which I saw the criminal popula- 
tion, of high and low degree, segregated from society — in 
which I saw a solution of the problem which I have been 
studying half my life — the only solution possible.” 

“In few words, my wife,” the judge resumed, after luncheon 
had been served, “the problem which I have been studying is 
this: Are the unfortunate creatures who spend half their 
best years behind prison doors willful violators of the law, or 
mere victims of the environments that society and the state, 
and our so-called ‘best people/ made up of ‘old families’ and 
persons of ill-gotten wealth, have surrounded them with. I 
have concluded that, except in rare instances, they are victims 
of their environments. Aye, in spite of the thousand and one 
reforms instituted by religious agencies, and by political doc- 
tors and tender-hearted philanthropists, to improve the public 
welfare, aid the progress of civilization, and regenerate the 
race, the environments of civilization are such that all their 
efforts go for naught — a point deftly touched on by President 
Roosevelt when he said in his Harvard speech that ‘the great 
lawyer who employs his talent and his learning in the highly 
remunerative task of enabling a very wealthy client to override 
or circumvent the law is doing all that in him lies to encourage 
the growth in this country of a spirit of dumb anger against 
all laws and a disbelief in their efficacy/ A kindlier warning 
never has been given to this nation. 

“There are two distinct causes which no doubt prompted Mr. 
Roosevelt’s words — two very distinct causes. In the first 
place, the cumbrous and complicated machinery of the law 
provides more safeguards than terrors for criminals nowadays, 
for a skillful lawyer can wear out any case presented in the 
courts, even a case of murder. The law fills his hands with 
trump cards. He can find plenty of technicalities, a flaw in 
the indictment, or some other legal quibble, and ask for new 


io 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


trials, and appeal and postpone the case until the important 
witnesses are dead or have left the country, and the public has 
forgotten the case. Even then, were his client convicted, the 
punishment has little effect upon the lawless, since it comes 
so long after the commission of the crime that the connection 
between the two is forgotten. 

“The second cause,” the judge resumed, after reflecting a 
few minutes, “will be found in our methods of punishment. 
Those lepers of society — gamblers — are turned loose after being 
fined. Fines and imprisonment for any transgression of the 
laws, whatever it may be, are a remedy only — they are 
not a cure. Petty offenders and hardened criminals alike, after 
serving their term in a jail or a penitentiary, come out from 
behind the walls to corrupt the society in which they move, 
whether in the slums or higher up, while gamblers and grafters 
are always with us. The very atmosphere of a community is 
tainted by their presence — they neutralize all the beneficial in- 
fluences at work in society — they check, if they do not destroy, 
the growth of goodness. Now you have the second cause.” 

“Yes, judge*; but what would you do with the criminal popu- 
lation ?” 

“Segregate it, banish it from society forever — shut out every 
criminal, from the frenzied financier who has robbed the mil- 
lions to the colored conjurer who has dishonestly separated 
another man from his small savings ; shut them out of the 
pale of civilization — extend the scope of the habitual criminal 
acts wide enough to take in the entire criminal clement. In 
a word, segregation is the only cure. Any other punishment 
is a remedy only. The hour has struck, and we must put away 
all mere remedies and apply the cure. That element made 
up of habitual criminals — some of whom you will find in 
every walk of life, from the millionaire to the mendicant, 
must be weeded out of society and transplanted. We must 
build walls around an island of the sea and keep the criminals 
segregated forever. In no other way can society be saved.” 

“How would you accomplish all this, my husband ? ’ 


ii 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“By adopting a new code of laws and a new and effective 
system of administering the laws. 

“Have you counted the cost of effecting such a revolution 
— for revolution it would be — the solid walls of men who 
profit from the existing condition of society and would fight 
you at every point? The lawyers alone would muster a 
thousand regiments to oppose any such reform as you sug- 
gest.” 

“Yes, dear wife, I have counted the cost. Gradually the 
conviction has been crystallizing in my mind, and I have stood 
appalled at the magnitude of the task ahead of the American 
people. But, in my dream last night, a plain pathway to 
walk in was revealed. I, with others, the gallant Teddy in 
the saddle with us, Bryan, Folk, Hearst, Hogg, Jerome, Tom 
Johnson, of Cleveland; Mayor Weaver, of Philadelphia, fol- 
lowing on, was in the heat of a campaign with no other words 
than these upon our banners: 

“‘SHALL WE CONTINUE TO BE GOVERNED BY 
LAWS MADE BY LAWYERS AND ADMINISTERED 
BY LAWYERS FOR THE BENEFIT OF LAWYERS, OR 
SHALL WE HAVE A NEW CODE OF LAWS, FRAMED 
BY THE PEOPLE, AND ADMINISTERED BY THE 
PEOPLE FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE PEOPLE?’ 


“ ‘A New Code,’ ‘A New Code,’ rang through the land like 
a popular song, I thought in my dream, and the New Code 
party won by an overwhelming majority, in brief time put a 
New Code into effect, established a penal colony in Alaska 
with Jim Hogg as its governor, and crime was checked, the 
cure was effective, society was saved. 

“The most singular part of my dream, however, my wife, is 
to come. I, in fancy, saw a convict train start from New 
York city, loaded with transgressors, -and followed the un- 
fortunates to their walled home. If you are not too weary 


12 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION.' 

I will relate this part of the dream to you in more detail than 
I have covered the New Code campaign, for in it are brought 
out a state of civilization as perfect as any we can ever hope 
for.” 

Assuring my husband that I would be an attentive listener, 
he stretched himself upon the lounge, clasped his hands behind 
his 'head, and in that position related the dream. 


13 



When Teddy Swings His Stick 


THE DREAM 


CHAPTER I. 

The Convict Train. 

A train of railway coaches stood upon a track in the Grand 
Central station in New York City. 

Seven coaches, striped like convicts’ 'suits (to the end that 
they might be a traveling object lesson to the criminal ele- 
ment and aid by their ominous appearance to deter them from 
transgression), and with every window barred like the win- 
dows of a prison, comprised the train, and it presented a 
weird spectacle under the electric lights in the early morning. 

Guards were stationed at the doors of the coaches, armed 
with clubs and revolvers, waiting for the human freight that 
was expected to arrive any moment from the prisons of the 
city, and, when the prison vans rolled up and the convicts 
began to step out, the guards became very alert. 

But we must go back a day or two and relate an event which 
preceded this scene. 

“Prisoner at the bar, you have heard the testimony of the 
witnesses. Have you anything to say as to why sentence 
should not be passed upon you?” 

The prisoner bowed his head upon hi-s breast and would 
have fallen to the floor if an officer of the court had not 
caught him. 

The awful prospect of banishment from society — a punish- 

15 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 

ment a thousand times worse than death— never to walk about 
the home in which he had collected art treasures from all the 
earth, never to see his beloved ones again, to breathe the air 
of freedom— the very thought paralyzed his every faculty.. 

He lifted his head, while the officer held him from slipping 
down upon the floor like a dead thing, and looked into the 
eyes of the solemn judge with a pitiful expression upon his 
face ; but he said nothing. 

“The sentence of the court, Edward Oswald, is, that you 
be conveyed to the city prison and there confined until the con- 
vict train starts for Alaska, and that you be taken on that 
train and shut out of the world forever, to toil for the com- 
monwealth so long as you have the necessary strength, or to 
the age limit. May God be with you behind the walls and 
prepare you for eternity.” 

Worth many millions of dollars, proud, handsome, gifted, a 
husband and a father — to be shut out of the world forever, seg- 
regated from honest men. He would not believe it — he could 
not believe it — and gathering all of his strength, he pleaded 
for mercy. He would endow a hospital — he would give all 
of his wealth to the poor — he would live a life of righteousness. 
“Mercy ! Mercy ! ! Mercy ! ! !” 

The sentence was irrevocable, and the judges arose gravely 
and instructed the officers to remove the condemned man from 
the room. 

There was no appeal, no pardon, no power of pardon resting 
in any hand. His fate was fixed forever — a convict behind 
Alaskan walls — the outraged people of the United States of 
America, after vainly trying to master the criminal element 
and that element’s servants, the lawyers and jurors, of both 
high and low degree, having adopted a New Code of laws so 
simple that the schoolboy could master them, not requiring a 
lawyer to interpret them, seven judges, of the age of fifty or 
over, passing upon all infractions of the Code, the professions 
of lawyer and juror being obsolete, for all power rested in 
the judges, four of them standing for the accused and three 

1 6 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


for the commonwealth, thus 'giving- the accused the benefit of 
the doubt in every case, a majority to pronounce the verdict 
and assess the punishment — all of the superfluous law officers, 
the legal rubbish, the red tape and the circumlocution of other 
days having been dispensed with when the New Code was 
adopted, and a colony for the convicts provided. 

The people were determined to weed out of society the crim- 
inal element and banish it beyond the pale of civilization. 

Edward Oswald, a shining light of his day in finance, 
had wrecked a great insurance society which carried in its 
palm the fortunes of hundreds of thousands of widows and 
millions of children, and as his case was one of the most sen- 
sational that had been brought to bar under the- New Code, 
and it was freely predicted that he would corrupt the court 
that was trying him or the officers to whose care he was com- 
mitted, his fortunes are followed in this narrative of my dream. 

Among the prisoners in one of the vans that rolled up to 
the Grand Central Station was Mr. Oswald, with chains upon 
his white wrists, and a few of his friends bade- him farewell, 
as, between two officers, he walked slowly to the train. 

He was dead to the world forever the moment he passed 
through the doorway of the coach, but his friends lingered 
and looked into 'his face of ashen hue as mourners at a funeral 
stand around a grave while the clods of earth rattle down 
and shut from view the form, of a loved one. 

Mr. Oswald’s wife, who had fainted in her carriage when 
she -heard the wheels of the prison vans roll up, was restored 
to consciousness before the train started and carried to the 
coach and he-ld up to the window so that she could imprint a 
farewell kiss upon his lips through the bars and fondle his 
hand once more. 

“You must look upon me as dead, darling,” Edward said, 
softly, tenderly, “for men who go behind those walls are 
never heard of again. Their very names are blotted out.” 

“If I could hear from you once, Edward, just once.” 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“But you cannot, Myra, dear, and there is only one place in 
which you can ever meet me again.” 

“In heaven,” she sobbed, supplying the proper word. 

“In heaven, beloved.” 

Mrs. Oswald was about to thrust her arms through the 
bars to wreathe them about her husband’s neck, when a firm 
but gentle hand interposed. 

“Too late, lady. The signal has gone to the engine. The 
train now starts.” 

A sharp word of command was given by the conductor. 

“All clear!” 

“Farewell, Myra, — for — ever.” 

The wheels began to turn, and as her husband’s face moved 
slowly out of sight Myra Oswald pointed her finger heaven- 
ward, whispering, “Not forever,” and Edward promised with 
his speaking eyes to keep beyond the stars the tryst then 
made. 

Scores of weeping women and children stood upon the plat- 
form, uncovered, as the long train of striped coffins rolled out 
of sight. 

“They are kind to the poor creatures behind the walls,” said 
a little old woman whose only son was among the convicts, 
in quite a cheerful voice, hoping to be the one bright sunbeam 
in the gloom ; “kind and good, kind and good, I know, because 
Jesus carries the warden’s key and walks through every cell.” 
And the mourners took great comfort from her words as they 
slowly walked away to the homes from which a loved one 
had gone forever, echoing the words, “Jesus carries the ward- 
en’s key.” 


18 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


CHAPTER II. 

A New Order of Things. 

On tihe train which carried Edward Oswald to his future 
home were ninety-three convicts, five of them banished for 
murder, two for arson, seven for adulteration of food, forty- 
three for embezzlement and boodling and grafting, six for 
burglary, ten for drunkenness, one for conspiracy, fifteen for 
selling intoxicating liquor contrary to the provisions of the 
Code, one for libel, one for cruelty to animals, and one for 
swindling — himself. 

They had been brought to New York from various places, 
many of them from New Jersey, and were scattered through 
the coaches, taking seats wherever they pleased after the 
chains had been removed from their wrists, and before the 
train had yet passed beyond the city limits, the men who are 
merry under any circumstances were striking up acquaintances 
among their fellow-convicts. 

Edward Oswald turned sadly toward the window and looked 
along a road over which he had driven with his wife and chil- 
dren many a time. A great lump arose in his throat and tears 
came to his eyes as he thought of them — “their husband and 
father a convict behind Alaskan walls forever.” 

He could not bear the thought. He would not go behind 
those walls ! He would not be buried in a living tomb ! He 
would not go to Alaska ! He would escape, escape (as he 
looked fiercely at the bars), and have his family join him 
in a foreign clime. 

Never would he suffer imprisonment! — was he not one of 
the elect who was above the law? 

Ah, my wife, if certain men fabulously wealthy, and gam- 
blers and saloon keepers and 'sporting men generally, had 
not assumed that they were superior to the law — a law unto 


19 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


themselves — notably the frenzied financiers of the early years 
of the century, and the courts have accepted their assumption 
and treated them as men sacred from the touch of police offi- 
cers, it never would have 'been necessary for the adoption of 
a New Code. 

(So intensely in earnest was my husband in his relation of 
his dream that he seemed to feel that the New Code was al- 
ready adopted and the nation living- under it.) 

Mr. Oswald looked from one rivet to another, counting them 
as his eyes roved around the window, my husband continued, 
and he counted twenty-four, six at each end of the horizontal 
bars, and six at each end of the perpendicular bars. 

Could he not, during the nighttime, as he laid in his cot, 
exercise that superhuman strength which he had always be- 
lieved that he had in reserve for the greatest emergency of 
his life (as frenzied criminals believe until they are unde- 
ceived, as the great insurance magnates and boodlers in general 
were), could he not wrench off those bars? — but, ah! why 
lacerate his white hands when he could easily bribe a guard 
and effect his escape in that way? Ah, ha, happy thought! 
Had he not purchased lawyers at so much per dozen? This 
guard — this fellow in the uniform of Cromwell — aha, ha, ha — 
could he resist a bribe? 

Let him think about it ! 

His fortune amounted to millions of dollars (of tainted 
money!). Suppose he offered the guard fifty thousand dol- 
lars! sixty! seventy! a hundred thousand dollars! Aye, one 
hundred and fifty, two hundred and fifty — a -cool quarter of a 
million — 'would he be proof against the temptation? 

Let — him — think ! 

A quarter of a million dollars for letting one man — one man 
out of the hundreds who would soon be under his care — quietly 
slip through the -doorway and disappear! Would he be proof 
against the temptation? 

Carefully studying the guard’s face, Mr. Oswald fixed upon 
a time to approach him, and pondered over what he would say. 


20 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


He would wait until the cars were full of convicts, so that 
his interview with the guard would be less noticed than at 
this time, while every eye was alert, scanning every feature 
of the wheeled prison and looking wistfully at the one clear- 
eyed man within its iron doors who could go back and sit 
under the lights of civilization again with his family and 
friends grouped around him — the guard. 

At Poughkeepsie the train picked up two convicts — broth- 
ers who had slain their brother. 

The rear coach was scarcely out of sight of the station be- 
fore- Mr. Oswald approached the guard impulsively and ad- 
dressed him, intending only to ask him a few commonplace 
questions. 

“Plow far do you go with us ?” he asked. 

“To the Canadian 'border, ” was the reply. 

“We go through Canada, then?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“How often are the guards changed?” 

“Thrice every day, sir. You must remember that the New 
Code provides for an eight-hour work day.” 

“Are all the guards as kind and good as you are, sir?” for 
Mr. Oswald had heard the guard speak consolingly to a poor 
boy who, with quivering lip, had asked him a simple question ; 
“so good and kind, with faces that inspire so much confi- 
dence ?” 

“The government guards, sir, both within and without the 
walls, are selected for their heart qualities as well as their 
courage and physical strength. In other days, heartless brutes, 
selected for their service to a political party, had the care of 
unfortunates. Conditions have changed. Cromwell deals 
squarely with all men.” 

Edward Oswald was afraid that this man was proof against 
temptation, his voice had such an honest ring. 

“You will be the guard until nightfall?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Are you at liberty to carry messages back to a convict’s 
family ?” 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“Full liberty, sir.” 

“You bave a family, I presume ?” 

“One of the sweetest families in Manhattan— a wife and 
three children.” 

The guard’s eyes sparkled with pride as he spoke. 

Mr. Oswald looked through the rear window of the car, as 
they rolled through the grand scenery of the Hudson, and 
wondered if this man could be tempted. 

If he could be, was he in the mood now, while thoughts 
of his family were in his mind? Would he not be proud to 
carry them to a palace to live in? To lift them into the 
bosom of society and let them sleep on beds of down, with 
servants to answer their every beck and nod ? 

Let — him — think ! 

He fixed his eyes upon the hills that seemed to dance tanta- 
lizingly behind the train, and thought that he would rather 
die than pass away from those scenes forever. 

Was the guard in a mood to fall before temptation now? 

The train sped on, too swiftly for every convict, but not 
as swiftly as Edward Oswald’s thoughts, for one moment he 
was in his home, then behind the walls of the Alaskan pris- 
on, then a fugitive in a foreign clime, by grace of the guard, 
and then again standing before the guard ready to commit 
a crime — proving the justice of the sentence passed upon him. 

“Do many prisoners attempt to escape from the convict 
trains, sir?” 

“Only those who court immediate death rather than im- 
prisonment.” 

Edward stepped back as if stabbed by the words. 

“Every guard is a dead shot,” the guard went on, “and un- 
der orders to deal swiftly with escaping prisoners.” 

The wily millionaire soon rallied again, so desperate were 
his aims, and he asked, in :an apparently indifferent way, if 
this guard’s weaker comrades were not sometimes induced — 
sometimes, for a very large monetary consideration — “some- 
thing, for instance, like a hundred thousand or more, more, 


22 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


even a quarter of a million, to allow a prisoner to escape?” 

The guard answered, just as if he had not the remotest idea 
of what Mr. Oswald was hinting at — just as indifferently as 
if he ate gold dollars for breakfast and gold eagles for dinner 
and slept on a pillow stuffed with government 'bonds — that he 
had never heard of a case of the kind in his six years’ experi- 
ence on the trains. 

“I am personally responsible for delivering every prisoner 
in this coach, together with this album, containing a photo- 
graph of each one of them,” placing his 'hands upon an album at 
his side, “to the guard who relieves me. If one escapes, it 
must be owing to my lack of vigilance, and, according to -the 
Code, I take his place and suffer his punishment.” 

Edward thought better of his enterprise, and decided not to 
pursue the matter just then. 

“That is rather severe punishment,” he said, and turned to 
walk away, resolving to plan a way to convince the guard 
that they could escape together, “rather severe punishment.” 

“Not any too -severe,” responded the' guard. “The New 
Cod never would have been needed if the laws of old had been 
properly administered — if a school of lawyers had not studied 
out a way to evade every law enacted by legislators, and men 
of great wealth had not induced legislatures to pass laws 
invented by their creatures, the lobbyists. The people adopt- 
ed the Code with a complete knowledge of its thoroughness 
and with absolute confidence in the ability of the men they 
elected as their executives to enforce obedience and check- 
mate the smooth lawyers. The Almighty Dollar became - 
such a tyrant that the people had to revolt. Like the sensible 
people that Americans are, they effected their release from 
the tyrant through evolution rather than revolution — through 
the ballot rather than the bullet. They put two intrepid Amer- 
icans at the head of their campaign — Roosevelt and Bryan — 
and won the cause of righteousness. I voted for the Code — 

I am prepared to surrender my life to enforce its provisions, 
for they are all just and merciful.” 


23 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


Edward fully resolved that a new order of (things had set 
in — that he was not dealing with lawyers, and he returned 
slowly, sadly, to his seat, and once more counted the rivets 
in the ends of the (bars. 

One — two — three — four — five — six in each end of the perpen- 
dicular bars. 

One — two — three — four — five — six in each end of the hori- 
zontal bars. 

He placed his hand upon one of the bars, as if by accident, 
and tested its strength. 

It was as firm as if set in masonry. 

At the Newburg ferry three prisoners were picked up — three 
young thieves whose lives had been passed in country prisons 
— (boys who had been born thieves, as it were. 

The train rolled around a curve, and he could see the loco- 
motive from the window of the coach he occupied. 

Then his eyes rested for a moment upon the striped kitchen 
car immediately behind the locomotive. 

A slight projection, like an observatory, caught his eye — 
a projection of but a few inches, with a bull’s eye gleam of 
glass set in about the height of a man’s eyes from the floor 
of the car, and beneath it the nose of a rifle pointing right 
at him. 

He fell back in his seat and closed his eyes. 

He had no doubt but his attempt to bribe the guard had 
been signalled to the rifleman — that by a clever arrangement 
of mirrors (which was a fact) his every act was reflected into 
the awful bull’s eye. He had been told, he remembered, that 
the government owned a great many inventions which were 
not known to the world. 

“So perfect is the discipline of this man Cromwell,” he 
muttered (Cromwell being a nickname under the New Code 
for the strenuous president of the United States, who had 
been first to administer the Code), “that I suppose a sharp- 
shooter sits there with his finger upon the trigger of a rifle.” 
After a moment of silence he went on in a low, moaning voice. 


24 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


“Farewell, Myra, my children, farewell. IT1 never see thee 
more — never more — never more.” 

An incorruptible guard at the door, a marksman with a 
rifle aimed at him in the front car, vigilance everywhere, the 
eye of the Code looking at him from every point, well might 
he say, “Farewell.” 

When the train arrived at a point beyond the Catskills he 
strained his eyes to see a farm that he owned there. 

On — on — on ! speeding forward so swiftly that he would 
soon be beyond the lights of civilization forever ! 

On, on, on ! — a prisoner picked up here, two there, the train 
rapidly filling up. 

Ah, if he only had that smooth lawyer of his with him to 
negotiate with the guard! 

Dinner was brought in before they reached Albany — a plain, 
savory meal, served on trays in their laps, but only a few of 
the convicts relished it. Edward barely tasted the- food 
brought to him. 

Many convicts had been sent by local trains to join the con- 
vict train at Albany, and, to Edward’s surprise and great joy, 
Wellington Wiggins, the proprietor of one of the great ho- 
tels at Saratoga, and one of his oldest friends, was among 
the prisoners brought into the coach he occupied (for in these 
days, under the Code, principals who wink at the doings of 
their menials suffer, and not the menials, and Wiggins’ bar- 
keeper had, with Wiggins’ wink, transgressed the laws). 

The newcomer looked around the coach — his eyes met those 
of Edward — they rushed toward each other, and were soon 
seated together, to be forever after inseparable companions. 


25 


WiHlEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


CHAPTER III. 

The Last Lights of Civilization. 

“Monday a free man, Tuesday a prisoner, Wednesday sen- 
tenced to banishment for life ; Thursday in a convict train 
bound for Alaska. Verily, the mills of Cromwell grind.” 

“You are the last man on earth that I would expect to meet 
on this train, Wellington. While I regret your fate, I must 
say that a kind, pitying heaven could have sent to me no more 
welcome companion in my misery. I had no inkling of your 
apprehension. Of course you have read all the particulars 
of my affair.” 

“Read it with a sorrowful heart, my boy — sorrow for you, 
sorrow for your wife, sorrow for your children. It must have 
been a sad parting.” 

“Not so sad at the moment of parting as before,” was the 
measured reply. “We made an appointment to meet in — ” 

“Fie! You can never meet again.” 

“She thinks that we can — I hope so.” 

“Where?” 

Edward looked out of the window and up toward the sky. 

“Need I tell you in words?” 

“As to that,” answered Mr. Wiggins, slowly, “I do not 
know. I have neglected to look beyond this existence, and 
must confess that I have very little hope of another existence.” 

“We shall have ample time to ponder over the matter out 
yonder. Whispers come from behind the walls that Alaska 
is a better place to live in than Saratoga.” 

“What more, then, Edward, can we desire?” nipping the 
end from a cigar and handing its mate to Edward. “We are 
dead to society, in our graves so far as the world knows or 
is concerned. As individuals they can never hear of us again- 
You’ll be number this and I’ll be number that, and whether 

26 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


we die or live they can never know. If I bad not voted against 
the New Code for other reasons, the fact that a convict can 
never hear from 1 or communicate with the outside world would 
have set me dead against it. I hate that 'feature of it — 
HATE it, my boy.” 

“As we are servants of the state from this hour forth, and 
our very bones will belong to the state when we are dead, 
what does it matter?” Edward asked, (philosophically. “It 
would be an unendurable aggravation for us to read from 
time to time of men no better than ourselves rising to pow- 
er and glory.” 

“Such men cannot rise, Edward. The Argus eyes of Crom- 
well are upon everybody, and no man can get into power 
who is not worthy of it. Was there ever such a superb army 
of public servants — so obedient to the very slightest wishes 
of the people, so perfectly drilled, under such perfect discipline 
as today? Never — nowhere on earth. The president is the very 
greatest man who has ever lived, and his ministers are men 
of iron and oak.” 

Both men reflected that their lives were no longer their 
own, and that they were forever to be like the cattle on the 
hillside — to be driven whithersoever their keepers willed. 

Night closed down as they talked of other days and days 
to come, and the train approached the St. Lawrence river. 

“You leave us here?” Edward asked the guard. 

“I do, sir.” 

“Will you carry a message to my wife?” 

“Gladly, sir.” 

“Tell her that Cromwell's men are very kind to me — that 
my food is palatable and well-cooked and my surroundings 
neat and comfortable. Tell her that Wellington Wiggins, 
our old friend, is my companion on the train, a convict like 
myself, and that we expect never to be parted. Tell her that 
my resolve to keep my tryst with her,” his voice breaking, “is 
firm, and that I will be humble, submissive, and obedient in 
my new sphere, and patiently study the Book that points the 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


way to our try sting-place. Can you remember all this? 

“Yes, sir ; oh, yes.” 

Edward grasped the hand of the guard cordially. 

“Good-bye,” he said, a tear falling. 

The guards were relieved as soon as the train stopped, a 
fresh guard took the album, scrutinized every face in his 
coach, gave a receipt to the guard whose place he had taken 
several prisoners were distributed through the train, and the 
journey was resumed. 

It was night now, and Edward, unable to sleep, pulled up 
•the curtain as he stretched himself out upon his berth, and 
saw the lights twinkling in the villages and the farmhouses. 
He thought of all that he was leaving behind, and closed his 
eyes and tried to remember what devil drove him into the 
commission of a crime so abhorred by the new civilization that 
he was driven from its presence. 

The lights of a town twinkled before his eyes. One minute 
the train halted — a solitary prisoner was brought aboard, a 
gray-haired man who wept like ia little child as he parted from 
his aged wife — then they rolled forward and the lights of civi- 
lization grew fainter and fainter, and his eyes closed in sleep. 

Blessed sleep that could shut out the pictures of his past 
happy life, that even hid the grim walls behind which he would 
soon be a life prisoner! He did not awaken until the guard 
came through the train and aroused him. 

The convicts were required to arrange their own berths at 
night, and to tidy them up in the morning, a monitor appoint- 
ed by the guard instructing them how to do it. The coaches 
were much like the tourist coaches of other days, the berths 
formed by letting a variety of fixtures down from the wall 
and adjusting other fixtures that were concealed in the seats, 
and in a few minutes these had been restored to their places, 
and so complete a transformation had been made that no one 
would have supposed that several score of convicts had slept 
comfortably in berths where the seats now were. 

“The guard soon changes,” whispered Mr. Wiggins, as they 

28 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


took their breakfast trays upon their knees and prepared for 
their morning meal. “You can send another message to your 
family, if you wish, I have no doubt.” 

Edward looked toward the guard— then into Mr. Wiggins’ 
eyes. 

Wihy should — the — dead — send — back — messages — from 
the tomb?” he asked, in a hollow voice. “I have thought 
half the night of the possibility of sending back a word or two 
and having them repeated from guard to guard until we get 
behind the walls. But,” pausing and looking out of the 
barred window, “why should I? Would it not be a cruelty 
rather than a kindness?” 

Mr. Wiggins sipped 'his coffee, and a tear fell from his eye 
as he noted the haggard appearance of Mr. Oswald. 

“It is better, far better, to be silent in the grave I dug for 
myself — or,” grimly, “which my lawyers dug for me, assur- 
ing me that no law was ever made through which they could 
not drive four horses abreast.” 

The haggard-looking man turned his attention to his break- 
fast and drank a cup of coffee — as good, he thought, as he 
had ever tasted in his own home or at Mr. Wiggins’ hotel. 
But when the waiter filled his cup a second time he started 
up suddenly and walked quickly to the guard. 

“Gan you convey a message for me to Guard 641, Ogdens- 
burg?” 

“Certainly, sir.” 

“Tell him., if you please, to go again to Mrs. Oswald and 
to tell her that I am quite well, and am very confident that 
I will be able to keep our tryst. Tell her that no guest at 
Wellington Wiggins’ hotel was ever treated with more cour- 
tesy than the unwilling guests are treated (by Cromwell’s 
men — that there is no rudeness, nothing but kindness and 
tenderness — but kindess and — ” and his voice broke, “ — that 
it — is — true that the spirit of the Lord Jesus is felt in the new 
system. Tell her that last night as I lay thinking of her, a 
restless boy in the berth opposite to mine began to sob as 


29 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


if 'his poor 'heart were 'breaking— tell her that very soon the 
g Uar d_” taking the hand of the guard and pressing it af- 
fectionately, “the guard came softly to his side, threw his 
manly arm around him, and in gentle words, as soothing as 
any words that -could come -from the lips of a mother, put 
peace where sorrow had been. Tell her the sorrowing boy 
was the son of that mother who cheered the mourners in the 
station at our -city by telling them, that Jesus carried the ward- 
en’s key.” 

The guard suggested that he write his message, as such high 
praise of a guard coming from the lips of another guard 
would seem to be untrue. 

A pad was given to him by the guard — No. 546 — and every 
time that the- guards were changed after this incident, a m'es- 
sa-ge went back — a message sealed by the guard after he had 
assured himself that its contents were proper — a -message as 
sacredly confidential as if it went by registered mail, for Crom- 
well’s men were so trustworthy that -no leering censor was 
put over them to stand between them and the beloved convicts. 

Ah, O world, beloved were these convicts to every one of 
Cromwell’s men, without and within the walls, for the poor 
creatures were dead to the world forever, and the trains but 
funeral processions, as it were. 

The government of the people, by the people, for the people, 
was ju'St exactly what it professed to be. 

It was consigning the enemies of society beyond the pale 
of society for the benefit of society, as well as for the bene- 
fit of the criminal. 

The train thundered through the farms and forests of Can- 
ada, picking up only a dozen convicts -on the- journey, then 
the lights of Winnipeg twinkled in the distance, soon to be 
passed, and the train rolled on, on, on ! 

“Farther and farther away from' Myra and the children— 
farther and farther away — soon I will pass the last lights of 
civilization that mine eyes will ever see. Wellington ?” 

Mr. Wiggins turned his face toward Edward. 


30 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


“The path of the transgressor is hard.” 

They were now on the Canadian Pacific railroad. Station 
after station passed before their view, the loungers standing 
uncovered as the striped coffins rolled along — pity, pity, pity 
upon every face, for heartlessness had passed away with the 
selfish environments that lawyers had gathered around the 
past generations, and there was not a jeer on any face — just 
pity, pity, pity, holy pity. 

Fainter and fainter grew the lights of civilization. 

On towards the Rocky Mountains! 

“Beyond those mountains and the sea, Wellington, we pass 
our lives.” 

“The path of the transgressor is hard,” vdiispered Mr. Wig- 
gins, in a choked voice. 

The genial man seemed to have been pondering over the 
words since his companion spoke them hundreds of miles 
eastward. 

At one station a trainload of tourists was sidetracked while 
the great procession of coffins on wheels rolled by, the civi- 
lization of the New Code showing itself among the tourists 
who tossed wild flowers to the convicts in the great coffins 
and wept in pity — 'pity, pity, pity, holy pity. 

Along the Valley of the Bow the train swept, and Edward 
saw glaciers and titanic sculpturing that would have enchant- 
ed his eyes once, but now be could see upon them only the 
words, “Forever — shut out of the world forever.” 

On grand old Mount Stephen, grandly outlined, were the 
same words, and when he lifted his eyes he could see them 
clearly traced in the banks of snow on the mountain tops — they 
stood out boldly from the very sky, as if carven there — 
“Shut out of the world forever.” 

The train passed the Rocky Mountains, followed the course 
of the Columbia river for twenty miles, and crossing that 
wide stream, it began the ascent of the- Selkirk mountains. 

“What a noble continent !” exclaimed Mr. Wiggins. 

“Noble, noble — never so noble as now, when we are leav- 


3i 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


ing it forever, Wellington. I will go mad if we do not soon 
reach the end of our journey.” 

“Cheer up, Oswald. We’ll step out of this trap on wheels 
and he aboard a ship, where we can stretch our legs and look 
around us.” 

“Scarcely,” Edward said, mournfully. “The ships, I sup- 
pose, are lined with cells, and we will but step from one trap 
to another.” 

“I haven’t a particle of doubt, boy, but a swift clipper 
will swoop down near the convict ship and catch us up and 
take us back home. Ha, ha, ha! This is but one of Crom- 
well’s jokes on me. Didn’t I know him in New York when 
he was but a boy ? Didn’t Teddy ride on my donkey ? Didn’t 
we shoot marbles together? Ha, ha, ha!” 

And Wellington Wiggins went to sleep with this convic- 
tion upon his mind. 

While the convicts slept and dreamed of other days, the 
train plunged on through tunnels, over bridges, by the side 
of mbuntains, and at break of day rolled into the station at 
Vancouver. 

The great locomotive that had hauled them over the moun- 
tains was detached, a snorting little- yard engine took its 
place, and the coaches were hauled down to the wharves, 
where steamships from China and Japan, from California, 
Puget Sound and Alaska, were discharging or taking in -car- 
goes. 

One more message to Myra, and the convicts were marched 
out of the coaches through a passageway enclosed by iron 
fences, and on board “The City of Sitka,” to sail for their 
walled homes. 

The Sitka was one of the largest ships on the Pacific ocean, 
having accommodations for over a thousand convicts, and sev- 
eral hundred men were already aboard when the New York 
train arrived, other convict trains having come- in from San 
Francisco and Denver and Chicago, all loaded with trans- 


32 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


gressors of the law. She was built expressly for the convict 
service, was striped like the trains — a leviathan monster that 
swallowed a thousand men at a mouthful and dropped them 
down behind the awful walls of Alaska. 

The sailing of the Sitka was the occasion of a sad scene 
at the wharves. Many mothers and fathers, sisters and broth- 
ers, and other loved ones, had come from places as far distant 
as St. Paul and St. Louis to get a last glimpse of the convicts 
as the guards escorted them into the floating coffin. 

The ship was not lined with cells, as Mr. Oswald had fan- 
cied, (but every avenue was shut off by iron bars, and the 
decks were like gigantic cages. 

The Sitka did not sail until evening, being held for the 
arrival of the Washington express, which had among her 
passengers a prominent official of the colony — the secretary 
of the governor — and when she finally got under way Ed- 
ward Oswald paced the deck like a lion in a cage, fixed his 
eyes upon the lights of the city and held his beating heart 
with his hands as these last lights of civilization faded from 
his eyes forever. 

Never, never, never more could he see the civilized world 
again ! 

Never, never, never more could he see the masterpieces of 
all God’s creations — little children — never, never, nevermore 
could his eyes rest upon a wom'an until he kept his tryst with 
Myra. 

“The path of the transgressor is hard — how hard only a 
life convict can know,” he cried, as Nature gave way and 
Wellington Wiggins and a guard carried him gently to a berth 
in the hospital section of the ship. 

The lights of civilization had faded from his eyes forever. 


33 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


CHAPTER IV. 

Some Revelations. 

Edward was confined to his berth during the whole voyage, 
a victim of brain fever, and he made no new acquaintances un- 
til they were nearing their destination, when Mr. Wiggins 
introduced him to Teddy Roosevelt, Jr., the governor’s secre- 
tary, who had been on a trip to Washington on official busi- 
ness and for whom the ship had waited at Vancouver. 

Teddy was a most agreeable fellow to meet in any place, 
and the cordiality with which he greeted Edward quite took 
his heart. 

“The hardest part of this life is over, my friend,” he said, 
“the parting from family and home. No one is unhappy be- 
yond the walls unless he is of that unfortunate class who are 
unhappy anywhere. When our guests once settle down to 
the conviction that they must become one of our big family 
and remain forever they become quite contented and even 
cheerful — a condition rarely ever reached out in the world.” 

Edward smiled, as if he could say, “I am grateful to you, my 
dear fellow, for such words of encouragement, but you are 
not a convict. You are free to go and come at will.” 

“The 'governor is a most lovable man, easily approached, 
and when he looks over his spectacles, and sees the beaming 
face of Wellington Wiggins, as I read the names and he con- 
sults the photographs, he will be glad that he is governor 
just for the sake of paying back some of the kindnesses Wig- 
gins heaped upon him at his hotel in bygone days.” 

“You’re in good luck, Wellington,” said Mr. Oswald, in a 
hopeful voice. 

“You gentleman have no conception of the agreeable sur- 
prise that awaits you. Every one of the thousand or more 
men aboard this ship expects to enter an inhospitable country 


34 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


■with scowling guards at every step to enforce obedience. It 
is the very reverse. No place upon earth is under such benefi- 
cent laws or so well governed as the colony is, and there is 
nowhere on earth a more delightful climate. We are now off 
the coast and in a short time will be plowing through the wa- 
ters of Whale Bay.” 

“Why is colonial life not reported more freely to the world, 
Mr. Secretary, and why are its charms not set forth more 
fully in the press?” 

“In other words,” replied the alert secretary, “you would 
ask why the court of judges, in sentencing a prisoner, does not 
say, Sir, this world is too cold, and too. dark, and too wicked 
a place for you to abide in. We have chosen the fairest spot 
on earth and walled it in so that you may henceforth consort - 
only with the true men of the earth.’ What would the effect 
be upon the criminal population ?” 

Edward and Mr. Wiggins smiled. 

“Crime would multiply fourfold, aye, fortyfold,” went on 
the young secretary. “The prospect of being shut behind 
walls forever, with no hope of pardon or escape, and only 
the criminal classes as companions,' has deterred the crimin- 
ally inclined to such a degree that outside of the large cities 
there is little need of courts, as you of course know, many of 
them having been abolished, and in the large cities crime is 
decreasing every day, and lawyers going into other business. 
The effect of the New Code and the method of punishment 
under it has been so beneficial, indeed, that there is a pros- 
pect that the expensive walls constructed here to accommo- 
date- the hundreds of thousands who were rushing to criminal 
paths in the opening years of the century — there is a pros- 
pect, I say, that the Colony will never be populated to a tenth 
of its capacity unless negotiations now pen ling with Great 
Britain and other countries result in a joint ownership. Can- 
ada and Mexico have already joined with us in the owner- 
ship. We have accommodations for all of the criminals of 
the earth.” 


35 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“We heard nothing of the negotiations you allude to as to 
joint ownership/’ ventured Mr. Oswald. 

“You will hear many things within the walls that you never 
could hear out in the world.” 

“The example of Texas, you may remember, led to the first 
serious agitation in favor of segregation of the criminal ele- 
ments and useless characters who live vicious lives. You will 
remember that the horror at Edna in the year 1905 — a horror, 
truly, for a mother and her four children were assaulted and 
slain by a prowling devil — 'that horror so aroused the whole 
state that the extermination of the negro race was boldly ad- 
vocated by some men. Texans had hanged to trees and even 
burned at the stake negroes who assaulted white women, and 
yet similar horrors continued to shock the state, as well as 
the whole South and the entire nation, neither the lynching 
nor the burning deterring the brutes or lessening the number 
of such hideous crimes reported. At length Texans rose up 
as one man and demanded action, extermination, banishment, 
anything. But one splendidly humane and grandly gener- 
ous man — a jurist — stilled the storm by putting forth the prop- 
osition that, instead of massacring or banishing a whole race 
for the sins of the few, the useless elements of the race be 
weeded out and segregated for life behind granite walls, to 
toil for the commonwealth. 

“There is an old saying that when Texans agree to do a 
thing they go at it hell-bent, and this proposition so caught 
the state that a roar went up for the governor to call a special 
session of the legislature for the express purpose of setting 
apart a vast section of the public domain, walling it in at 
any cost and beginning the weeding out process. No voice 
was raised in the legislature against the proposition, and a 
special commission was appointed by the governor to execute 
the will of the people, an appropriation up in the millions made 
to carry the act into effect, and in five years Texas had weed- 
ed out exceeding fourteen thousand useless wretches who were 
bound to lead criminal lives, and would not if they could lead 

36 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


honest lives, and they were toiling behind the walls for 
the benefit of the commonwealth. 

“The segregation idea proved a complete cure — every other 
means, even to 'burning at the stake, had not even been re- 
medial in its effect — and Texas women and girls were no 
longer molested by black brutes. As a race the negroes were 
happy, 'contented and thrifty, and, with their criminally-in- 
clined brothers behind granite walls, the race question was 
forever settled, so completely settled that other Southern 
states with less territory than Texas were negotiating with 
the government of Texas to extend the walls and allow them 
to segregate their useless negroes there, and this undoubtedly 
would have been done but for the fact that the example of 
Texas aroused the whole nation to the wisdom of segregating 
the entire criminal element, black and white, and the result 
you know. As it proved a cure in Texas, so it is proving a 
cure universally. I may add that the Texas convict colony 
was abolished and the entire population of the colony taken 
over by the nation and transported to Alaska at the begin- 
ning of our experiment here. 

“Jim Hogg of Texas, one of America's greatest men, was 
given the governorship of the colony, for it was he who led 
the campaign to segregate the vicious negroes of his noble 
state, and who inaugurated the Texas colony — Jerome of 
New York succeeding him, then Folk of Missouri, and now 
Mr. Bryan is governor.” 

Edward and Mr. Wiggins stood in silence, venturing only 
one question, and that was to ask the secretary to what he, 
who had been in the very van of the victorious people — like 
his gallant father — attributed the swift revolution in public 
thought when the Code was adopted. 

“It is a mistake to call it a revolution,” was the reply. “It 
was simply the voice of the people in one grand chorus. The - 
people had been looking for a way out of the wilderness into 
which they had thoughtlessly followed the lawyers. The 
devilment in the affairs of the Equitable and other Insurance 


37 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


Associations was the climax. The thought that, under our 
then existing laws, men could imperil the fortunes of tens of 
thousands of widows and hundreds of thousands of children, 
'and turn them, out into the world paupers, so aroused the 
whole nation that the man who wrote these words had a 
national audience. He crystallized the national thought : 


“ ‘Shall we continue to be governed by laws framed by 
lawyers and administered by lawyers for the benefit of law- 
yers, or shall we have a New Code framed by the people and 
administered by the people for the benefit of the people?’ 

“This proposition, you will remember, was set forth : 

“The causes of the abnormal increase of crime and pauper- 
ism in the United States of America are: 

(1) Our laws are so .complicated that they can be used 

to protect rather than punish the criminal popula- 
tion. 

(2) Our methods of punishment are calculated rather to 

increase than diminish crime. 

(3) The wealth of the nation is being concentrated in the 

hands of the few rather than distributed among 
the many, and this wealth so concentrated is a 
standing peril to the peace and welfare of the na- 
tion. 

The only cure for these evils is : 

(1) To adopt a new code of laws so simple that a child can 

understand them and a professional lawyer will 
not be required to interpret them. 

(2) To gradually weed the criminal element out of society 

and banish all confirmed criminals beyond the pale 
of civilization. 

(3) For the government to acquire and control all public 

utilities and prevent the concentration of the wealth 
created by labor. 


“The proclamation was thundered from the housetops and 

38 


/ 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


the street corners for many years — roared up and down the 
highways and 'byways of the land. In time the whole nation 
was aroused. We were going along smoothly, fortunes grow- 
ing to more massive proportions among the few every day, 
millionaires purchasing seats of power through venal legisla- 
tors, endowing educational and theological institutions with 
their tainted money, 'churches smiling upon the rich and neg- 
lecting the poor, the press roaring out its warnings to heed- 
less ears, our commercial supremacy being extended further 
and further, and with it all of our vices and but few of our 
virtues, the very devil himself reigned — apparently. But only 
apparently. Up went my father’s Big Stick. He knew that 
the people hated all this sham — all this humbug. He knew 
that the millions, plunging around in search of a way out of 
the wilderness into which less than half a million lawyers 
and politicians and trust magnates had led them and were 
hanging like vultures over them, gloating as they swooped 
down and scooped up their little fortunes ; my father knew that 
the people were resting on their arms, ready at call to spring 
into line and set their eyes on Washington, never to turn a 
hair’s breadth out of their way until they had turned down 
to the dust forever the elements responsible for that system. 
Handicapped during his first term as chief magistrate by a 
party partially responsible, he could do nothing substantial 
for the nation, but when, later in his life, he saw the people 
rallying around him, listened to the urging of the Man from 
Nebraska to step into line and lift his Big Stick — he raised 
the Big Stick, my grand, my good father, girded himself for 
a mighty battle, and there is no more to tell. You will see in 
a few hours the Penal Colony and learn that out of my father’s 
thoughts while a police commissioner of the great city of 
New York (when he advocated the segregation of the crim- 
inal element), has come the most perfect penal system ever 
instituted on earth. Behold !” 

Looking across the waters, as the ship sailed through Whale 

39 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


Bay, the secretary informed them that they were now within 
the jurisdiction of Governor Bryan, and he pointed to the 
great wall on the island. 

“It is a fact of history, my friends, that during the first in- 
cumbency of my father as president Mr. Bryan and he were 
close friends, secretly consulting together as to a way to lead 
the people out of the wilderness, for both men knew that the 
then existing political systems never could do it, and while 
my father took the saddle as chief his lieutenant was the in- 
trepid Man of Nebraska, a man equally as great as my father 
(I do not know which I love best), willing to spend his life 
behind these walls as governor of the Colony, if necessary, 
while my father stood yonder at Washington to receive on 
his broad breast and hurl back the arrows of the enemies of 
the New Code.” 

Tears fell from the young secretary’s eyes as he reflected for 
a moment upon the sacrifices of Theodore the Strenuous and 
the interpid Man of Nebraska, and their great followers, he 
being unconscious of the fact that both men relied upon him 
to work out the complete salvation of the American people. 

Mr. Wiggins and Edward could now see the towers of the 
wall that stretched out to the East and to the North. 

“You will be amazed when you see what a beautiful place 
and what a great workshop the Colony is,” continued the sec- 
retary. “We pursue a hundred or more industries in addi- 
tion to the cultivation of fruit and hardy grains, and mining 
and coal-digging. Our stock industry is reaching large pro- 
portions, and we supply the White House table with poultry. 
Lumbering is one of our chief pursuits. Indeed, we are a 
busy people.” 

Secretary Roosevelt’s eyes positively glowed as he sketched 
the manufacturing industries of the Colony, and Edward and 
Mr. Wiggins admired the man more and more as they saw 
how sincere he was in his work of lifting up men. 

Young Theodore became absorbed in the study of criminal 
life and the courts when but a student at Harvard, and was 

40 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


one of the first to accept in all its fullness my idea, as set 
forth in the Prologue to my Dream. And when the New Code 
party won he volunteered to sacrifice everything dear to life, 
and was willing to go into a living grave with the convicts. 
Friends protested, hut he was as brave as his great father — 
a cub from the old lion — 'and became the man upon whom 
the whole nation leaned to make the huge experiment a suc- 
cess. 

As we look upon the scene now Secretary Roosevelt was the 
only messenger from the governor to the President of the 
United States and the Governor-General of the Dominion of 
Canada, and to the President of the Republic of Mexico, and 
all of his trips to and fro were made in secret — not even the 
nearest friends of the executives of the three nations knowing 
of his visits. His one ambition was to bring our continent 
to a state in which we could stamp it with the royal seal on 
which “Christian Civilization” was graven, and he emulated 
the example of those noble priests of the Church of Rome who 
lived their lofty lives in colonies of lepers. The young man 
knew, as all men know, that environments are the all and 
all of reformatory work and my dream will very soon reveal 
the environments of the government’s guests on the lonely 
Island of Barandoff in the Alaskan territory. 

I have only to add here, my wife, before following the con- 
victs to their walled home and describing the surprise of the 
genial Wiggins and Edward Oswald, that so supreme was 
the faith of the American people in President Roosevelt and 
Mr. Bryan and in the young secretary that they gave them 
carte blanche, and no expenditure was questioned as the great 
reformatory work went on. 


4i 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


CHAPTER V. 

Shut Out of the World Forever. 

A bell warned the convicts to prepare to retire for the night. 

Before the “lights out” rang most of the unfortunates were 
asleep — the last night outside the walls. 

It was a sad night to Edward Oswald, and as he tossed from 
•side to side of his berth he angrily proclaimed to Mr. Wig- 
gins, who was lying in the lower berth, that he would not sub- 
mit peacefully to those arms of granite — he would leap into 
the sea and take his chances of escaping. 

Mr. Wiggins remained silent for a time, regretting that 
Edward’s temperament was such that he broke every good re- 
solve as soon as it was made, and he feigned sleep ; but as the 
disheartened millionaire permitted his anger to grow hotter 
and hotter, and his words to roll out louder and in a more 
bitter tone every minute, he checked him, softly saying that 
“that wasn’t the way to the trysting place with Mrs. Oswald 
on — on — 

“ ‘The other side of Jordan, 

In the sweet fields of Eden.’ ” 

It was such a surprise to Edward to hear his old friend quote 
the lines so familiar all around the world that he leaned over 
the edge of the berth to look at him.. 

Mr. Wiggins was lying flat on his back, with his knees 
drawn up and his feet braced against the sides of the berth, 
his hands clasped under his head, and a cigar set firmly be- 
tween his teeth, enjoying “a dry smoke.” 

“On the other side of Jordan, 

In the sweet fields of Eden, 

Where the Tree of Life is blooming, 

There is rest for you. 


42 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


There is rest for the weary, 

There is rest for the weary, 

For the weary convict even, 

There is rest and peace.” 

Edward reflected, noted the improvised chorus, and the 
sweet words falling upon his ear, like a lullaby sung to a 
child, soon subdued his anger and he fell asleep. 

“Last messages home! Last messages home!” rang 
through the ship at break of day, and the convicts were given 
half an hour in which to prepare any message they wanted to 
send back to their friends before they left the world forever. 

No sealed messages were allowed to be sent, and Edward 
made his message to his family very brief — a mere promise 
to “keep his tryst in -the sweet fields of Eden.” 

Mr. Wiggins sent no message. 

“I’m not a family man,” he said to the guards who passed 
through the ship to collect the messages, each convict having 
previously been supplied with pen and ink, paper and an en- 
velope. “I’ll carry my own message back, ha, ha, after I have 
an interview with the governor.” 

The guard took Edward’s message and passed on. 

The scene that Mr. Wiggins and Edward witnessed as they 
^walked through the passages to the upper ijeck of the ship was 
a most unique one. 

It was a way Cromwell’s men had — thanks, O, thanks, Mr. 
Secretary Roosevelt — to devote themselves to a single con- 
vict just as affectionately as if he was a brother — to put their 
strong arms around the weak tenderly and hold them up — to 
treat them exactly as if they were human beings, with the 
same blood vitalizing their flesh and bones as vitalized their 
own flesh and bones. Each convict had an identity of his own 
— he was not like a sheep in the eyes of Cromwell’s men. He 
was a man and a brother — an unfortunate man and an erring 
brother, but still a man and a brother. 

Here a poor fellow who could not write was dictating a 


43 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


message “to mother” or "sister,” or "sweetheart,” to a guard 
—there another unfortunate 'clutched a message m his hand 
and kissed it hysterically— another sent a lock of hair— an- 
other a warning to his wild companions — nearly all had some 
message or some trifle to send back from the edge of the 
grave. 

And so good, so great, so gracious, was the government, 
that it reverently carried any trifle home to the bereaved ones, 
it being one of the great days in many bereaved homes when 
a mounted messenger arrived at the home from which a con- 
vict had gone, and, with uncovered head, delivered the last 
message. 

"From your son, good mother.” 

With an affectionate word added. 

The half hour expired, the gong sounded, and the convicts 
were invited to break their fast. 

Only a few of the thousand men tried to eat, however, as 
the ship was now near the shore, and they could see the great 
city that sat on a hill behind the walls, with its handsome 
streets, its lovely parks, its beautiful gardens, its great fac- 
tories, its tall chimneys — the New Sitka. 

Every eye was strained to get a good view of the city where 
the rest of their lives was to be spent. 

Surprise was expressed upon every face — upon the faces of 
Edward and Mr. Wiggins in particular. Secretary Roosevelt 
had prepared them in a measure for the surprise when he told 
them the night before that the patrol fleet of the government 
prevented forbidden eyes from viewing the city, and that it 
had never been accurately described — no more than heaven has 
been — but they had not conceived of the importance of his 
words, and were amazingly surprised as they beheld Sitka in 
its new garb. In the center of the city towered up a great 
temple of glass upon which the sun shone with dazzling effect 
— a mirage or a vision they thought it must be. St. Peter’s 
at Rome was but a toy compared with it; and there were 
other great buildings. 


44 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


“O, it is beautiful,” cried the hoy whose tears had been 
wiped away by the guard on the train. 

“Well may Jesus be the warden of a city of such loveliness,” 
thought Edward Oswald, but he stood in mute astonishment 
and admiration of the scene before his eyes. 

“Why, where is the penitentiary?” some one cried. “This 
is but a lovely city.” 

“There are no walls within the walls,” a guard answered. 
“You have more- freedom there than in the State of New 
York.” 

“Sure?” 

“You may roam over the whole island.” 

“No dingy cells smelling like graves and rats fighting for 
a fellow’s dinner?” 

“Nothing of the sort.” 

“No bars at the windows — no iron doors — no jailer — no — ” 

The grating of the ship against the wharf put an end to 
the questions. Then came the song of escaping steam, the 
disembarkation, and the march through the gateway that nev- 
er opened outwardly. 

They were shut out of the world forever. 




45 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


CHAPTER VI. 

Reception by Governor Bryan. 

As Edward Oswald 'marched through the gateway arm-in- 
arm with Mr. Wiggins, he was sensible of a feeling of relief. 
Up to this hour he had felt like a man chained to a log, floating 
hopelessly upon a pitiless sea, notwithstanding the kindness 
displayed by Cromwell’s men along the whole journey. The 
chains seemed to slip off as his feet struck the pavement of 
the esplanade, and he loosened his hold upon the arm of his 
companion and strode along like a boy. 

“To the right,” a commanding but kindly voice ordered, and 
the men first in line who were about to scramble out through 
the city like a herd of cattle obeyed and marched in line along 
the covered esplanade until about half of the ship’s company 
was on one side, when the same voice said, “To the left,” just 
as Edward and Mr. Wiggins were about to follow the right 
line, and, at a nod from the officer, they headed the line that 
led to the left. 

“Very well done,” said the commanding guard, walking up 
and down the line with a pleasant smile for everybody. “Be 
at your ease, my friends.” 

Friends? Had the ship gone astray and landed them at a 
port of heaven instead of in the dreaded Alaska? 

A friendly greeting for them! Praise for them! Oh, if 
they only could have written of their reception in the beauti- 
ful city in “that letter going back to mother.” 

“Our affairs move like clockwork here,” the commandino- 
voice said. “The governor would miss his breakfast to greet 
you promptly. He has too high a regard for you to keep you 
waiting for a moment.” 

# Strains of music struck upon their ears, coming from the 
direction of the temple — and the chimes, which were always 

46 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


played when the governor was outside of his mansion, that 
all eyes might know he was 'coming and drink in inspiration 
from his kindly face — the chimes rang out merrily, soon 
joined by a band of uniformed men who appeared at the south- 
ern end of the esplanade, playing in unison a spirited “Wel- 
come air, and escorting Governor Bryan’s carriage. 

The convict 'band marched between the lines of convicts as 
it played. 

Then came the governor’s carriage — a little old phaeton 
drawn by a little old horse. 

Every convict knew that he stood in the presence of Gov- 
ernor Bryan, though there was not the sign of a flunkey 
around him nor any insigni’a on his plain coat to denote that 
he was the governor — not even a 16 to i button — and every 
convict promptly uncovered, some kneeling before that great 
soul, all feeling in their innermost hearts that here indeed was a 
friend. 

One great big murderer bawled, “Three cheers for Billie!” 
and as the governor smiled good-naturedly the roar that ran 
along the esplanade almost drowned the sweet chimes in the 
temple and completely silenced the music of the band. 

“And a tiger for Teddy!” soon rang out. 

And Governor Bryan rose in his phaeton and waved his 
l^at while he joined in the tiger — his cackling old throat emit- 
ting cheers louder than those of the axe-maker and murderer 
whose breast was like a great bellows. 

“And another for Teddy, Junior,” roared Wellington Wig- 
gins, and the cheers were so great that every convict thought 
he had come to the happiest spot on earth (for be it known to 
you, O people, that Teddy, Junior, had so endeared himself 
to every convict on the ship that not one of them would have 
attempted to escape if he could-) 

The governor continued standing, his beaming face and 
twinkling spectacles giving each prodigal a homelike feeling 
as if he had just got back to the old roof tree after an ill-spent 
life, he was so fatherly. 


47 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“My friends,” Governor Bryan said, looking up and down 
the line, “I -cannot say that I welcome you to the City of 
Sitka, but I do extend to you a fatherly greeting. You have 
■been banished from society for your crimes against society, 
never to return to society, and your lives -here will be exactly 
what you make them. Those who preceded you here have, 
with rare exceptions, accepted their fate with becoming res- 
ignation, and you could find nowhere on earth a more con- 
tented community than the inhabitants of this walled island 
are. 

“You will find here no cant, no sham, no false professions, 
no insincere pretensions. When the authorities here say that 
they sympathize with you and will bear with you patiently 
until you have accustomed yourselves to our ways and to 
the thorough discipline that prevails here, they mean just 
that. They are- not deceiving you. Tyranny, of even the pet- 
tiest kind, is unknown here. Slavish subservience, boot-lick- 
ing, is not exacted from any of you — we want to see none 
of it. Manly obedience and a frank resentment of wrong 
(should wrong ever creep into our government here) , is what 
we do exact and request, nay, command. Let no man upon 
this island impose upon you. Be manly and independent. 
We unlocked yonder gates -with keys of kindness to admit 
you here, and with the same keys we locked them again. You 
-can trust us — we shall trust you. 

“There -are many things tolerated by society out in the 
world which we do not and never will tolerate here. Religious 
despotism is one of them — social despotism is another. Here 
we have no despotism. You will find upon this island neither 
preacher, priest nor rabbi in authority. The Word of God, 
in all its simplicity, without the false interpretations that all 
religious denominations force upon the world, is a substitute 
for them all, and the Word is our guide in all things, and simple 
services of song and prayer, and brief addresses, make up our 
outward religious life. Inwardly we try to live the life of 
the Lord Jesus Christ. We try to love God with all our heart 

48 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


and our neighbor as ourself — to .practice rather than preach 
the Golden Rule. You will find great comfort in such a life 
hope, strength and joy unspeakable. 

You will find none of the fair sex here. This, I have no 
doubt, will be the greatest punishment to those of you who 
left wives behind. You will enjoy no family gatherings such 
as you were accustomed to at home, though our social gath- 
erings and pleasant little merrymakings make up in part for 
them. But nothing makes up for the absence of women,” 
wringing his wrinkled hands, as he saw many eyelids droop and 
many lips quiver, for Governor Bryan was now a very aged 
man, “and in this respect, I, your friend, suffer with you.” 
The governor paused for a moment and wiped away a tear. 
“You will find employment here suited to your capacity. 
No square man will be put into a round hole, nor no round man 
into a square hole. Every man has inclination for some kind 
of labor. Your inclination will be respected, and if you find 
that you have made a mistake, your next strongest inclina- 
tion will be tested until you are suited in every way. We are 
a very industrious community, and employ our minds or our 
hands, or both, eight hours out of the twenty-four, devoting 
the other sixteen to sleep and recreation. 

“Of field sports and games we have as great a variety as 
yQu had out in the world. We also have theatres, concert 
halls, art galleries, libraries, night schools, presses and type, 
and a literature of our own, including an excellent daily news- 
paper which you will find very interesting and very instructive 
and edifying. Games in which cheating is possible — cards, 
dice and the like — we do not allow, nor betting or any habit 
or practice that arouses expectations that may not be realized 
or that stir up the passions. 

“We have no intoxicating liquors and no money — two things 
that contributed more to the disturbance of society and the 
nations in the old civilization than any other two things that 
can be named — particularly the latter—” with a smile as broad 
as his kindly face, — “as my experience in the 16 to i cam- 

49 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


paigns of the closing years of the past century amply demon- 
strated. But we get along admirably without intoxicants or 
money, the latter having proven an intoxicant more noxious 
than the vilest of alcoholic compounds in those days when 
men, otherwise sane, ran off into frenzied financiering. 

“Of hospitals for the sick, and homes for the aged, we have 
several, but sickness is very rare here, our diet being perfect 
and our habits regular, and old age comes slowly. 

“It but remains now for me to urge you as your elder 
brother to determine that by your obedience to authority you 
will be among those who will have the respect of the governor 
and of that splendid man, Teddy.” 

Secretary Teddy rode up at this moment on horseback, 
amid roaring cheers, which he acknowledged by uncovering, 
and then gave the roll of names of “The Government’s New 
Guests” to the governor. 

After consulting a memorandum book the governor wrote 
a number opposite the first name — 230,461 — and handed the 
roll back. Then the bulky albums which contained a photo- 
graph of each convict in line, with his name written under- 
neath, were given to the governor, and as the secretary called 
out a name the person answering to it stepped up to the gov- 
ernor and was recognized. The work was not perfunctorily 
done, as so much public work is done, but the governor took 
the hand of every man, scrutinized his face, addressing some 
as his brother and others as his son, and spoke an affection- 
ate word to them in a soft, low voice. Nearly a thousand 
men passed in review before him, the numbers running from 
230,461 to 231,442, and the sun was high in the heavens before 
the greetings were over. 

When the name of Wellington Wiggins was reached, the 
last but one on the roll, and that portly gentleman stepped 
forward, the governor started, dropped the 'album into Secre- 
tary Roosevelt’s hand,* and wiped his eyes with a handker- 
chief. 


50 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


“Why, Wellington, I am amazed. I loved you as my own 
brother. Keep close to me. I will speak to you in a few 
moments. All right, Mr. Secretary. I recognize the gentle- 
man. ” 

The governor’s pleasant address and agreeable presence 
was as great a surprise to the newcomers as the first view of 
the beautiful city had been. 

“You are now at liberty to roam about the city, my friends, 
until the dinner hour, twelve o’clock, which will be rung by 
the chimes, when you will please gather in the public mess 
room and enjoy your first dinner with us. During this after- 
noon and tomorrow you will be examined and assigned to 
your respective quarters, and on Monday you will begin 
work. In the meantime, look around and see what a lot of 
busy folks we are.” , 

When Mr. Wiggins and Edward came forward, after their 
companions had been dismissed, Governor Bryan grasped both 
of Mr. Wiggins’ hands in his and expressed the keenness of 
his sorrow. 

“I had hoped,” he, said, “to pass many a pleasant day under 
your roof during my declining years, and this meeting quite 
shocks me. O, Wellington, Wellington, why did you trans- 
gress ?” 

\My friend and companion in misery,” Mr. Wiggins said, 
introducing Edward Oswald and intimating by a shake of his 
head that he could not answer the direct question. 

“Misery will fly away if you will give it wings,” the gov- 
ernor rejoined, as he grasped Edward’s hand, cordially. “I 
have made a profound study of life upon this island, and I 
am free to say that there is more happiness here than out 
in the world. The one thing to fix upon your minds is that 
you are dead to the world forever. I say this with the kind- 
liest of motives. You are dead men — your very names are 
blotted out forever. Even I may not call you in public by 
your names — I must address you by your numbers. I have 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


no liberty to favor you in any way, even if I had the desire. 
Favors are not possible under our government either at Wash- 
ington or here. But trust me to make your lives so pleasant 
that nothing will mar their serenity except the thought of 
‘what might have been.’ Again let me press upon you the 
advice to turn away from the past forever; to cherish hopes 
of returning to the world is to invite disappointment. Now, 
good bye for the present,” cordially shaking their hands again, 
for lie pitied them — but a day or two before in homes of 
wealth and luxury — he had holy, holy, holy pity for them. 
“I will have a brotherly eye over you.” 

The governor drove silently away and Mr. Wiggins and 
Edward Oswald stood alone upon the esplanade — nameless 
convicts forevermore. 


52 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


CHAPTER VII. 

First Hours in Alaska. 

Edward and Mr. Wiggins walked smartly along the esplan- 
ade and the plaza into which it led them until they came to a 
street that opened their way into the city. The street was 
shaded with graceful trees and had such a cool and inviting 
appearance that they almost instinctively turned into it and 
walked along rather than tarry in the plaza and get their 
hearings. 

As they walked along they became conscious of an awful 
silence — a silence that was almost oppressive — and they could 
scarcely believe that they were in a city of about a quarter of 
a million inhabitants. 

Farther along, as they looked down the streets that crossed 
the one they were walking in, they saw signs of life and tall 
chimneys that marked the location of great factories, but the 
silence that hung over that part of the city they were walking 
in was that of a cemetery. 

They felt truly dead to the world. 

The street was lined with pretty dwellings, two and three 
stories in height, with a one-story cottage here and there to 
var)r the monotony, all built of white brick and stone, or of 
red brick with stone trimmings, or red or yellow trimmings, 
not resembling each other enough to be monotonous to the 
eye, but with an utter absence of the little touches of beauty 
that a woman’s hand finds a way to add to the plainest home 
— the adornment of window and doorway, the climbing vine, 
the vase of flowers, the picture in the window, the deftly 
draped curtains. There were flowers in every garden, and 
well-trained shrubbery here and there, and vines that started 
anywhere and climbed nowhere in particular, but the air of 
grace and refinement that a woman’s hand gives to a home 
was missing. 


53 


WiHEiN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


Occasionally a vehicle passed them, or crossed the street in 
front or behind them, loaded with building material or the 
products of garden and farm, and before they had proceeded 
far a dozen wagons came from a side street loaded with prod- 
ucts of a factory, and moved toward the ship that had brought 
them from Vancouver; but they saw no carriages. 

Meeting a city patrolman they asked him why there was 
such dead silence in the streets. 

“Every citizen is at work,” was the answer. 

“Have you no stores ?” 

“None.” 

“No hotels?” 

The guard smiled. 

“No hotels, sir.” 

“No public buildings of any sort ?” 

“These are all public buildings,” waving his hand. 

“Well, where’s the postoffice?” 

“We have no postoffice.” 

“No postoffice, nor no drug stores, nor corner groceries, nor 
news and cigar stands?” 

“No commercial establishments of any kind.” 

“How do you do business, then?” Wellington asked, per- 
sistently. 

“We don’t do business, sir. There is no bartering or trading 
on the island — no money to trade with.” 

“Well, I don’t understand this,” and Mr. Wiggins put his 
thumbs in his vest-holes and looked around, half-dazed. 

“No horses, no carriages, no way for a traveler to see the 
country except on foot?” 

“An electric railway runs under your feet, the whole length 
of the street, with numerous branches and a system out 
through the country.” 

“A noiseless 'tiling, isn’t it?” 

“You will hear trains moving occasionally.” 

“I think it ought to have been built on the ground so that 
a fellow could get a glimpse of something alive and hear a 
noise of some sort.” 


54 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


“You are in a strange city, sir.” 

“I certainly am. I would give a dollar just now to hear a 
•boy call me ‘Old Baldhead.’ Children are all at school, I 
suppose, which must account for the silence.” 

“There isn’t a child on the island.” 

“Thunder!” 

“You’ll soon get accustomed to our life, sir, and enjoy it.” 

“Enjoy life, sir, without children, without women, without 
money, without — I suppose you haven’t a dog or a cat or a 
pet of any kind about the place.” 

“O, yes, we have animals and pets of all -kinds, and dolls.” 

“Dolls?” 

“Aye, sir, and there are men who love dolls so well that they 
carry them about in their bosoms.” 

Governor Hogg, the first executive here, by some mischance, 
in packing his personal effects or having them packed -by 
the womenfolks of his family, found, on his arrival at the 
gubernatorial mansion in Alaska, a doll, and when a convict 
valet saw it he caught it up, went into a delirium of joy over 
it, and carried it in his bosom until -he died. The old governor 
was so pleased that he related the incident in a letter to Wash- 
ington, and ever since cases of dolls of all sorts and sizes had 
been shipped annually to the Guests of the people, and no 
Christmas gift was held in such 'high esteem. Lift the curtain 
from almost any life on the island and a doll would be found 
clinging to the heart, its eyes seeming to beam in pity, pity, 
pity, holy pity. 

Many a convict slept every night with a pretty doll upon 
his bosom.. 

As the patrolman related this pathetic incident both Ed- 
ward and Mr. Wiggins thought that the time might come when 
they, too, would be as happy as the convict valet had been 
to find a doll among their Christmas presents. 

“Edward,” Mr. Wiggins said, as they walked along, “I don’t 
like this place. Going about the streets is like walking in a 
graveyard. Those houses, with no life in them, are like 
tombs.” 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


No babies peeping out of the windows. 

No children tumbling upon the lawns. 

No woman’s hand training vines to run over the doorways. 

No domestic servants flying here and there with jaunty caps 
covering their heads. 

“No, I do not like it at all, and I shall tell the governor so, 
and, after making a visit of a few days, shall ask him to set 
me down at my Saratoga hotel.” 

As for Edward, he would have given all but one day of his 
life to be permitted to spend that one day with his wife and 
children. 

“The way of the transgressor is hard,” he thought, but did 
not say. 

Houses, houses, houses — nothing but houses and trees. 

No hotels, no shops, no signs — nothing but houses and 
trees. 

No smartly dressed business men, no shopping women, no 
slouching vagabonds — nothing but houses and trees. 

No fire engines dashing along, no express wagon, no de- 
livery wagons — nothing 'but houses and trees. 

No handsome horses prancing in silver-mounted harness 
before a handsome victoria — nothing but houses and trees. 

O, Wellington, the mistake of the ages has been in govern- 
ments parading before the eyes of the unfortunate splendid 
equipages containing their agents and their families, inciting 
envy and contempt. 

It was not so in Alaska. 

“I suppose,” burst from Wellington’s lips, “that — ” he 
was about to say there were no baby carriages on the island 
to tangle up a fellow’s heart— but he stepped back as a little 
old man — a little, little, old, old man — wheeled soberly around 
the corner, a pretty baby carriage, crooning a lullaby. 

“Lull-a-by, baby, papa’s proud boy; 

Lull-a-by, lull-a-by, all the world’s joy, 

Lull-a-by, lull-a-by.” 


56 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 

“Great smoke!” cried the tender-hearted Saratogan. “Ac- 
tually a baby !” 

“Papa thinks so,” said a patrolman, who stepped up and lift- 
ed his hat to the little, little, old, old, old, man who wheeled 
the carriage along, crooning the lullaby. “He is the oldest 
man in the colony,” the patrolman went on, “eight and ninety 
years, and has the distinction of occupying a room, in the gov- 
ernor’s mansion. Leaving a home full of children, with a 
child born on the day he was apprehended on a charge of libel, 
for he was a Texas editor, 'he fell into a moody spirit, but a 
doll as big as a live baby was presented to him on his nine- 
tieth birthday, at the hands of our gracious governor, and 
nothing would reconcile him but a carriage to wheel his Lulie 
in — a name he gave the doll. Our wbeelrights, and carriage 
trimmers and blacksmiths and painters heard of his great de- 
sire for a carriage to wheel Lulie in, made a carriage, and 
on the Day of the Good Gray Folks — one of our greatest holi- 
days, when old men retire from active duties and receive the 
title of honorable — the carriage was presented to him in a 
neat speck by Governor Bryan, Up to that time we could not 
induce papa to retire from active work in the printing office, 
but with a carriage to wheel his pet in he lost interest in the 
work and now puts in several solid hours a day displaying his 
treasure on the streets, the happiest old man in the world.” 
Then turning to the little, little, little, old, old, old man the 
patrolman touched the doll, chirruped good-naturedly, and 
the dear old editor cackled and lifted the covers for Edward 
and Mr. Wiggins to see the inanimate little idol of his heart. 

These and other street incidents, explained by other patrol- 
men they met, shook off the feeling of intense loneliness that 
Edward and Mr. Wiggins had experienced since leaving the 
governor, and, reaching a street as wide as a boulevard, with 
flower beds along the center of it, they went under the canopy 
of trees that sheltered the pavements and soon ascertained 
that they were walking along Governor avenue. 


57 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


CHAPTER VIII. 

In the Messroom. 

Weary of .walking- where no women walked, where no chil- 
dren played, where no carriages rolled, where no bright signs 
invited their eyes to linger, Mr. Wiggins and Edward quick- 
ened their pace and soon the mansion of the governor loomed 
up and the roof of the great temple sparkled under the rays 
of the noon sun, and striking scenes met their gaze upon 
every side. 

“Here at last,” cried Edward, who had visited all of the 
great cities of the world, “here at last is something unique. 
What a mansion ! What a temple ! ! What a scene of gran- 
deur!!!” 

Park after park stretched out before their eyes, like a great 
cluster of emeralds, the governor’s mansion in one, the temple 
in another, the executive offices in a third, the messroom in a 
fourth, the mansion of the Good Gray Folks in the fifth — a 
scene that cheered them and enchanted their eyes. The build- 
ers of the city had studied the effect of clustering the parks 
together instead of scattering them in every direction, both 
from a landscape point of view and from that greater view- 
point of the soul, for here in a few minutes every inhabitant 
of the city could meet every other inhabitant and keep in the 
.current of the good fellowship that came out like a stream of 
love from the center of the city night and day — forever and 
forever. 

But, “On to the Messroom !” to catch up and repeat a cry 
from Mr. Wiggins’ lips as a patrolman pointed out a three- 
story building, with countless turrets, “resembling a fort so 
much,” in Mr. Wiggins’ own words, “that it ought to be called 
Fort Cook — if the cooks rule here as they do at Saratoga.” 

The messroom covered about the space of a city block and 

58 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


innumerable oblong tables were scattered through it, surround- 
ing a balcony from which a 'band was awaiting a signal from 
the tower in the temple where the greatest set of chiming 
bells ever cast rang the quarter hours. 

The clock ticks but twice or thrice before the great set of 
chimes will ring, and there is no time to describe them now. 

Each table was covered with a snowy cloth and plates and 
cutlery and in the centre of the table was a glass dish heaped 
with the most tempting of sugarplums, caramels, almond can- 
dy, delicious creams, marshmallows and fruit candies of every 
description — -for Uncle Sam was a liberal provider. 

The recent voyageurs, many of whom had been unable to 
eat on the rolling sea, were ravenously hungry, and they 
eagerly seated themselves (five at each table, as directed by 
the head waiters), and looked wistfully for the food to be 
served, a few of them attacking sugar plums. 

A bugle note from the balcony and a nod from the head 
waiters lifted them to their feet. 

Then the band in the balcony, under the direction of Pro- 
fessor Fritz Dexter, the celebrated Texan who slew a whole 
chorus with one blow of his baton, played in unison with the 
chimes in the temple a thanksgiving number. 

There were no signs of waiters, nor food, except the sweet- 
meats, until at a signal from the band leader the instruments 
struck into a melodious air and simultaneously several rolling 
doo>s opened at the north end of the room. Then a company 
of colored waiters appeared, each pushing a large tray ahead 
of him. The tray was suspended from the ceiling by wires 
which connected with globes rolling in grooves that traversed 
the ceiling in every direction, and in a few minutes the guests 
in the remotest parts of the great dining room were being 
served with a soup in which toothsome bits of vegetables 
swam, while upon each table heaping plates of wheat and 
rye bread, cut in slices an inch thick, were placed. 

While the guests were busy emptying their soup plates the 
trays were pushed back into the kitchen, and a supply of more 

59 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


substantial food was placed upon them, together with a coffee 
pot for each table, and sugar and milk in abundance. 

Beneath the tray was a 'catchall for the fragments of bread, 
the plates and spoons, and the table was quickly cleared for 
the second course. 

“A bill of fare that does credit to the governor’s table,” Mr. 
Wiggins said, sopping up the last bit of soup with a piece of 
bread and allowing the waiter to take away the plate and sub- 
stitute for it another plate containing a piece of baked salmon, 
together with three or four side dishes, “and served very ele- 
gantly. I’m obliged, sir,” as a neighbor at the table caught a 
knife that his coat sleeve had brushed off. “If I’m not mis- 
taken we will wind up this delectable feast with apple pie 
and cheese or ice cream and cake, and then wine and cigars. 
Edward, with no infernal women or vaporish political adven- 
turers or foppish sports to worry us we ought to get as sleek 
as seals on this fare.” 

Very few guests waited for a third course to appear, but 
Mr. Wiggins and his companion, accustomed to spend an 
hour at the table, received, as all might receive, their choice 
of dessert — pie or pudding, nuts and raisins — and finally a tum- 
bler of cigars was set before them as the band played a merry 
waltz. 

It was no trouble for any waiter to answer questions, and 
when Mr. Wiggins had bombarded the waiter who had served 
his table with numerous questions as to the inside workings 
of the great messroom, he fumbled in his pocket and then ex- 
cused himself to the smiling colored man for not being able 
to give him a fee for his excellent service and rare courtesy, 
and then, looking around for the cashier’s desk and not find- 
ing any, he joined Edward at the entrance. 

“If there are any vacancies in this building, Edward,” he 
said, “I shall apply to the governor for a position. I want to 
study the place before they send me back. Best service I ever 
saw. ’Twould take my sixty waiters half a day to serve the 
company these score of men have served in half an hour.” 

60 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


Our inclinations are consulted in assigning- us to our fu- 
ture duties,” Edward said, quietly, quoting from the govern- 
or s address, and I have no douht you will have a congenial 
position.” 

“Let’s walk over among the factories a bit. I am like the 
boy who saves his pie to eat after everything else in sight is 
disposed of. I want to visit the temple only after every other 
sight in the island is in the retina of my eye.” 

Smoking as they walked, for the use of tobacco was not 
forbidden in the colony, the two men whose fortunes we are 
following soon reached a great factory to which a number 
of workmen were directing their way. 

The workmen were, almost without an exception, smoking 
pipes or cigars, and all were chatting merrily. 

Timber being one of the chief resources of Barandoff Island, 
with spruce and yellow cedar in abundance, several of the fac- 
tories were utilized for the manufacture of woodenware, and 
nests of pails as high as a man, and nests of washtubs and 
bundles of chair seats and frames, all in separate pieces to fa- 
cilitate transportation, were loaded upon wagons at the doors 
of the factory. 

The workmen lounged around the doors, under shady 
trees, or sat on the wagon tongues or stood with feet resting 
upiO« the spokes or hubs, and as Mr. Wiggins and Edward 
approached they hailed them pleasantly. 

“You don’t seem to be very unhappy here,” said Edward, 
approaching a group of men who were roosting upon a wagon 
tongue. 

“We are not unhappy, sir; tell us a story,” one of the men 
said in reply. 

“Why should we be unhappy?” rejoined another workman, 
adding quickly, “Tell us a story or sing us a song.” 

“We have more here than we had in the world,” a third 
said — then the three called in chorus for a song or a story— 
“the newest they are singing outside the walls.” 

6x 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“Tell us ia story or sing us a song,” cried a fourth, in great 
earnestness. 

“I am not a teller of stories or a singer of songs,” Edward 
said, “but my friend here is famous in those delightful pas- 
times.” 

“Really, gentlemen — ” Mr. Wiggins broke in as the whole 
group demanded a story or a song, “ — I, well, there is one little 
ditty that the bellboys in my hotel sing so constantly that I 
can possibly warble it. I don’t know what it’s called, but it 
runs something like this,” and Mr. Wiggins sang: 

“His pathway’s not on velvet, 

No odor of the rose 
Perfumes the air of factory 
To which he daily goes ; 

His life’s a work-a-day one, 

In mine or on the rail ; 

I’m singing now, I tell you all, 

Of the man with dinner pail. 

“Hats off! Hats off! 

A kindly smile; 

I never, never fail 
To tip the greetings of the day 
To the man with dinner pail. 

“He’s up at daybreak early, 

To catch the early car, 

Or walk a mile to labor, 

Beneath the morning star. 

His toil is sweet and pleasant, 

? He’s jolly, fat and hale ; 

I’m singing now, I tell you all, 

Of the man with dinner pail.” 

“One,” rang the chimes as Mr. Wiggins was about to re- 
peat the chorus, and while the music echoed over the city the 
men pledged Mr. Wiggins to attend their musical clubs and 
took their places at the forge or the bench or the engine or 
the machine, and our friends walked thoughtfully away. 

62 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


CHAPTER IX. 

Agreeably Surprised Again and Again. 

"I’m just as much convinced that Cromwell's outfit pos- 
sesses a way to 'get. me back to Saratoga as I am that Secre- 
tary Roosevelt has whiskers,” Mr. Wiggins said as he saw 
the secretary coming along the street near the messroom, to 
which they were returning as to their hotel, “and that after an 
agreeable visit with the governor we will be whisked off 
some dark night. Ha, ha, ha! What a joke on two distin- 
guished citizens of the imperial state of New York!” 

Addressing them the secretary said that if they would go 
to the third floor over the- messroom they would be duly ex- 
amined and assigned to their duties and to their living quar- 
ters. 

“The governor has been absorbed in some new project half 
the morning,” he went on, “and I have no doubt but he will 
have a pleasant surprise for you, so it matters little what 
duties you are assigned to temporarily. At his hint, however, 
I suggest an engine on the electric railway. We are just open- 
ing two branches and will put the engine that came on the 
ship with us into service in a few days. The life would be 
agreeable and exhilerating, leaving no time for you to brood 
over your misfortunes. The road traverses a very romantic 
country, up hill and down, over mountains and through val- 
leys, and as the engine goes a mile in a minute and the entire 
length of the main road is but thirty-three miles, with stems 
and loops and branches here and there of from six to eighteen 
mile-s, over some of which you would run every day, the 
scenes about you would be continuously changing. The gov- 
ernor’s hint is an eminently wise one. But few engineers are 
sent here, for no class of our population has ever been more 
obedient to the law, and the few we have enjoy the highest 
respect of the community.” 

63 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“Could I handle an electric engine?” Mr. Wiggins asked, in 
a suprised tone of voice. 

“Easily, after a week’s tuition. Your automobile experience 
fits you perfectly for the lever.” 

“No danger of the thing running away with me and leaping 
over the walls?” 

“Not the slightest danger,” responded the secretary with a 
smile. “Man lias so mastered the mysterious fluid that it 
is no longer an elusive thing, but a fixed and permanent power, 
needing only the touch of a child’s hand to give it the energy 
to move a ship.” 

“Are two men required on an electric engine?” 

“Yes, invariably — one watcher and the other to drive.” 

“Slate us then, my dear fellow,” after getting a nod of ap- 
proval from. Edward, “for an engine.” 

“I am happy to do so, and the governor, I am sure, will be 
gratified. You will now please go to the examination room 
and answer a number of simple questions, be measured for 
your clothing and assigned to your quarters. By the way,” 
as a second thought might come to one, “I should inform you 
that the public messroom is for the accommodation of the 
patrolmen and is only temporarily used for our guests until 
they can be assigned to permanent quarters of their own. Our 
guests” (how careful every official was to avoid the use of 
the cruel word convict — O, thank you, Teddy, for your con- 
sideration, for you are the exampler of the entire official force) 
— “our guests dwell in the houses you 'have already seen. In 
the two-story cottages are twelve chambers, dining room, li- 
brary, kitchen and bath rooms, accommodating twelve persons 
— in the three-story houses twenty chambers. Each dwelling 
has a housekeeper and a cook. Many of the cottages are only 
half or two-thirds full, and I suggest that you ask assignment 
to one of these, for intimacy with the inmates will give you an 
insight into our lives which you could gain only after months 
of study if you went into a cottage with the newcomers or set 
up a private establishment. The governor has ascertained,” 

64 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


glancing at a memorandum 'book, “that in one block, but a 
few minutes walk from his mansion, are forty members of 
the Texas legislature, two railroad managers from Texas who 
passed around too many souvenirs to law-makers in the shape 
of free passes, three Chicago and four Kansas City real estate 
agents, a Methodist preacher (whose transgression, I may say, 
was wedding a boy and girl of i J and 15 years of age respec- 
tively, in defiance of the New Code), and a few others who 
were prominent out in the world. There are three dwellings 
in the block, and they are scattered among them. Their 
cooks are said to be experts and their housekeepers paragons, 
vieing with each other in the cultivation of flowers and the 
raising of pet stock. At our pet stock and flower shows their 
exhibits always win a medal of honor, and they have a half 
dozen prize trophies in the block, and are very proud of them. 
The preacher, a really good man, but a former opponent of the 
New Code, has got them all walking the right way, he tells 
the governor, and I would really seriously suggest that you 
lodge in that particular block.” 

“What do you say, Oswald ?” Mr. Wiggins asked, very well 
pleased with the idea. 

Edward pondered before answering, and the alert secretary 
went on. 

“A little farther from the governor’s mansion, in the blocks 
bounded by Tennessee, New Jersey, California and Vermont 
avenue's, are six hundred and seventy trust magnates, gamblers 
and the like, with whom we can place you — ” 

“Put us in no hog pen, Mr. Secretary,” laughed Mr. Wig- 
gins. 

“Very good, let us pass it. If your tastes are literary, we 
■can place you among that class of newspaper proprietors who 
defied the New Code. W-e have over two thousand of them 
here, and can accommodate you in any one of the fifty blocks 
they are scattered through — ” 

“Spare us association with such people — ” it was Edward 
who spoke. 


65 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


“Or we can put you in a cottage with eight Quakers who 
insisted upon working on Sunday in accordance with their be- 
lief, but contrary to the New Code, or with six Mormons who 
gathered to themselves several wives each, or with a univers- 
ity glee club whose members willfully defied the Code, be- 
lieving that their positions as the sons of wealthy and prom- 
inent men put them above the Code.” 

Edward thought of his promise to' his wife, and the Quaker 
■cottage appealed to him strongly. 

“We are not confined to our lodgings evenings?” he said 
interrogatively. 

“Not at all,” answered the 'secretary. “There is no con- 
finement here except within the walls. The liberties or the 
personal tastes and inclinations of the guests of the people 
are not interfered with in any way. They 'have perfect free- 
dom, visit each other, meet in the public places provided, on 
the streets, anywhere. They make a requisition upon the 
transportation department for a train any morning or even- 
ing and run up to the salmon fisheries, or to the coal mines, 
or out through the farm lands or timber lands. One of their 
greatest diversions is going fishing at daylight and returning 
in time to labor, eight o’clock.” 

“Is the Quaker cottage convenient?” 

“It is in sight of the governor’s mansion, lacing the Temple 
park.” 

“Let it be the Quaker cottage,” Mr. Wiggins said, willing 
to gratify the evident yearning of his companion, but yearn- 
ing himself to be with the Texas legislators or trust mag- 
nates. “Will our baggage be sent around? — ahem! Excuse 
me ! I forgot for the moment that we were forbidden to bring 
anything here that would tie us to the world. Baggageless 
we came behind the walls ; baggageless we will soar over the 
walls to glory. Amen.” 

Before parting from them Secretary Roosevelt gave Mr. 
Wiggins and Edward a point or two as to the answers they 
should give in the examination and assignment departments, 

66 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


and they got in line with the crowd of convicts who had come 
with them on the City of Alaska, and in the course of half 
an hour Mr. Wiggins reached the examiner — a rosy old ticket 
scalper, of whom the whole tribe were behind the walls — with 
Edward immediately behind him. 

“Name, if you please?” 

“Wellington Wiggins.” 

“Hereafter, sir, No. 230,994.” 

“Farewell, Wellington, old boy,” No. 230,994 said, sadly. 

“Your age?” 

“Sixty-two.” 

“Far past the retiring age, sir, but it is deemed wise to as- 
sign our guests to some congenial position until they find 
ways to pass the time more agreeably. Our old folks are re- 
garded with an eye zealous for their comfort. We idolize 
them, for we have no children on the island. It is my duty to 
inform you that you may pass the balance of your days in ele- 
gant, refined, leisure, if you so elect.” 

“I prefer occupation, for the present, at least.” 

“Very well, sir. Former occupation ?” 

“Hotel keeper.” 

“Who will receive your earnings?” consulting the report of 
the court of judges on the case, the dependents out in the world 
receiving the money the convicts earned for the government. 

“Mary Wiggins, of Burlington, Vermont.” 

“Correct. It was so ruled by the judges.” 

Questions were then asked No. 230,994 as to his birthplace, 
parentage, nationality, health, habits, and other things that 
concerned only the statistical -department, and he passed on to 
the assignment department and Edward took his place and 
received his number, 230,995, his earnings to go to the com- 
monwealth so long as his family were in comfortable circum- 
stances. 

“What are your natural inclinations?” the clerk asked him, 
fixing his eye upon the line in the examiner’s sheet which 
gave him the information that No. 230,994 had been a hotel 

67 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


keeper. “Here is a list of the leading occupations of our 
guests/’ 

Always guests — never convicts — thanks, thanks, Secretary 
Roosevelt, from the hearts of a man and a woman who love 
all humanity. 

No. 230,994 read : 

Accountants, 

Bakers, 

Barbers, 

Basket Makers, 

Blacksmiths, 

Boot and Shoe Makers, 

Brass Workers, 

Bridge Builders, 

Broom. Makers, 

Brush Makers, 

Butchers, 

Butter Makers, 

Cabinet Makers, 

Carpenters, 

Carpet Weavers, 

Cheese Makers, 

Chemists, 

Cigar Makers, 

Candy Makers, 

Compositors, 

Coffin Makers, 

Coppersmiths, 

Dairymen, 

Dentists, 

Dyers, 

Electricians, 

Engineers — 

“Engineers,” No. 230,994 repeated. “Put me down for an 
engine. I am the champion automobilist of ten counties.” 

The clerk filled up the blank space properly and then asked 
No. 230,994 if he had any preference as to the class of men 
he lodged and messed with. 

“I should like a quiet place, sir,” No. 230,994 answered, 
“where I can develop the serious side of my nature — a place 

68 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


where the gentleman just behind me can be accommodated, 
for we were companions out there and hope to be compan- 
ions here. We have made some inquiries and hear of some 
vacancies in a Quaker cottage.” 

“You shall go there if you wish. We aim to house our 
guests according to their likings. A change can always be ef- 
fected in one month if you notify this office of your desire.” 

“Thank you. I am amazed at the human kindness I find 
here. You are all as good as gold.” 

“Why should we not be good to each other, banished as we 
all are from society and the world. I was the head of the lead 
trust out in the world, and they call me ‘Old Sinker’ here. 
Nearly every official on the Island except the men of the 
Secret Service, whom we do not know, is a convict. If heav- 
en is a better place than this, I have yet to experience it. You 
may now go to the property department and select your out- 
fit, if you please.” 

If you please? 

Thanks, O Secretary Roosevelt, for your consideration. If 
public servants in other days had been so kind, so good, so 
considerate, the New Code and those walls never would have 
been needed. 

No. 230,994 and No. 230,995 went to the property room 
together in a few minutes and selected a neatly figured cheviot 
of a dark color for their suits, and left their measure with one 
of the many genial tailors there. 

“I supposed,” said No. 230,994, as they walked toward the 
Quaker cottage with an escort to introduce them to the old 
Quakers and install them as inmates of the cottage, “I sup- 
posed that I would be stripped, have my hair cut, my watch 
and personal trinkets taken away, and come out of the property 
room looking like a harlequin. Things are different here from 
what we expected. Edward, kindness and courtesy meet us 
on every side. The secretary spoke the truth when we were 
on the ship. The government has found a satisfactory way 
to subdue the criminal population— a positive cure, not a mere 

69 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


remedy. I feel as big- now as the governor (himself.” 

“I am agreeably surprised, and have the same feeling,” re- 
sponded Edward. 

Working hours were now over, and the streets were as lively 
as those of any city upon earth, and as the escort left them 
at the cottage door, after introducing them to the old Quakers, 
who were upon the lawn, some of them smoking long clay 
pipes and attentively reading or studying, Edward and Mr. 
Wiggins were tempted to spend an hour or two at the public 
parks or halls, or in the temple; but, weary after the long 
journey across the continent and the monotonous voyage on 
the Pacific, they sought their chambers, and, after conversing 
for an hour or more, while patientlly waiting for the sun to 
go down (and 'discovering from the housekeeper that it did 
not go down at all in this high latitude, but was visible at 
this season all night but for about half an hour), they retired, 
and the chimes, melodious always, seemed to ring a lullaby 
now. 


70 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


CHAPTER X. 

The Colonial Railway System. 

Seated in the dining room in the morning with their Quaker 
companions, Nos. 230,994 and 230,995 were quite well pleased 
with their surroundings. 

“We have no reason to complain of the company we find 
in Alaska, Mr. Wiggins, as we shall continue to call the Sara- 
togas said. 

“Thou wilt find much of the salt of the earth here.” 

“I am pained to see your saintly faces behind the walls, I 
must confess, and yet gratified to come into a circle of men 
Whose lives have been sweet and pure.” 

“The New Code strikes all alike. Obey! Obey! Obey! or 
suffer.” 

“Do you suffer much, good sirs?” 

“We have suffered much, but not of late years,” answered 
the most talkative Quaker of the group. “We have been here 
many years and are quite contented with our lot now. The 
absence of loved ones causes a pang of regret sometimes, but 
it will soon be over — over forever.” 

The Quakers were quite old men — one of them eighty-two — • 
but they did not show the signs of age as old men out in the 
world show them. 

Breakfast was now brought in by the French cook (a man 
who had slain his wife), and it was tempting enough to lure 
them to the table, where they sat with bowed heads a moment, 
the oldest Quaker leading them in reciting a thanksgiving. 

Oatmeal and milk, corn cakes and coffee, griddle cakes if 
they wanted them, eggs served in any way they wished to 
order, comprised the meal, with milk, coffee, chocolate, cocoa 
or tea — a good enough bill of fare for the table of the governor 
or the president, and cooked more perfectly than the food 


71 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


offered to one in the highest class of restaurants and the best 
of well-conducted homes. 

Domestic animals of the best grades and poultry of the most 
useful breeds, providing an abundance of milk and eggs, were 
as plentiful on the island as men were, and the fare offered 
fully satisfied Nos. 230,994 and 230,995 that Secretary Roose- 
velt knew how to hold the hearts of the guests of the govern- 
ment without going around the world every morning to ask 
for ways and means. 

“You appear to have the best cooks in the world here,” Mr. 
Wiggins said. “I have had much experience with cooks my- 
self, and know how rare good ones are.” 

“We have more cooks on the island than there are places for, 
and many of them are at other occupations, waiting for an 
assignment. Thou knowest, probably, that cooks naturally 
fall into the habit of pilfering, and it is so soon a confirmed 
habit with them that they are behind the walls before they 
know whither they are drifting. Habitual thieving, is pun- 
ished by banishment.” 

“Yes, I know that.” 

“But the cook that serves thy table is a murderer — repent- 
ant now, but a man with a sad record.” 

The Saratogan did not pursue the conversation further. 

Breakfast was soon over, and after the Quakers had gone 
to their daily labor — voluntarily — to pass away the time in 
a dairy, for their age gave them, the right to rest from labor 
if they would, Mr. Wiggins and Edward retired to the library 
and read while they smoked their cigars. 

But they were soon interrupted. 

“Tell us a story. Tell us a story. Sing us a song,” cried 
the cook and the housekeeper, appearing at the open window. 
“What’s new out in the world ? When did the last dog show 
occur? Who’s dog got the ribbon? What are folks doing? 
Who’s writing books worth reading and songs worth sing- 
ing? Tell us. Tell us. Talk! ! Talk! Talk! Tell a story 
or sing a song.” 


72 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


Oswald and Wiggins looked at the eager-eyed domestics 
and were unable to restrain a smile as they gesticulated and 
demanded a song or a story. 

“Singing and story-telling are not in my line,” Edward said, 
“but my friend here is celebrated as a spinner of yarns and 
a singer of songs, and I have no doubt he will be delighted to 
entertain you.” 

“What will you have, gentlemen?” Mr. Wiggins asked, as 
the domestics continued their appeal. “I am charmed with 
the attention you are giving us and shall be most happy to 
make myself agreeable. Suppose), now, gentlemen, now, 
just suppose,” as he leaned out of the window and button- 
holed the cook with one hand and the housekeeper with the 
other, “suppose that I get out of here will you fellows accom- 
pany me to Saratoga and take positions in my hotel?” 

“Don’t delude yourself with any hope of getting out of here,” 
the housekeeper said, somewhat solemnly. “You can’t get out 
of here — no, never.” 

“Nevair,” echoed the cook, emphatically. “Sing us a song.” 
Mr. Wiggins’ chin dropped, as the truth was thus forced 
upon him and he was quite sad for a moment. But he could 
not shake off the thought that he had simply come to Alaska 
on a pleasure trip. 

“This is simply a huge hoax my friend, the governor, is 
playing upon me — a hoax, of course; ha, ha, and I will be 
merry.” 

While considering what story to relate a messenger ar- 
rived at the cottage from Secretary Roosevelt with a note re- 
questing Edward and he to call upon him at once. 

In ten minutes they were in the secretary’s office, and there 
they met the governor and the chief engineer of the colonial 
railway system, a famous railroader whose carelessness on 
an occasion when he should have been careful cost him his 
liberty. 

The governor was talking earnestly to the engineer when 

71 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


they arrived, but the conference was soon over and the engi- 
neer withdrew. 

“Did you rest well, my friends ?” the governor asked. 

“Admirably— as well as if we had been in the governor’s 
room at my hotel.” 

“Good — very good. I hope you are pleasantly located. 

“Very pleasantly,” both men said in one voice. 

The governor laid a railroad map of the island before them 
with a great deal of pride. 

“We have just extended our railway system,” he said, “and 
are so proud of it that a proclamation goes out tomorrow an- 
nouncing that on the Day of the Good Gray Folks, which oc- 
curs on Wednesday of next week, the system will be formally 
opened with an excursion over its entire mileage, closing with 
a banquet. But, a small party of us are going out today on 
an inspection tour with the chief engineer, and it is his desire 
(and the governor’s wish as well) that all the new men ap- 
pointed to the transportation department whom we can ac- 
commodate shall be of the party.” 

The governor looked carefully at the bird above his desk, 
as if cautioning it not to sing to the colonists what he was 
about to say, and then went on. 

“As engineers you will be entitled to ride in the governor’s 
coach, with the Methodist preacher, Papa and Lulie, the city 
officers and a few other desirable companions, and I promise 
you quite a merry, quite a merry time.” 

Governor Bryan looked over his spectacles and cackled in 
a dry, delightful way. 

The Governor’s Band struck up a lively air — “The Railroad 
Gallop,” — composed !by the leader for the inaugural ceremo- 
nies, and after playing it through once in front of the mansion 
started away toward the general station playing it again as 
they marched. 

As this was simply an informal journey there was no proces- 
sion, the party walking to the station, a few blocks away, the 
governor riding on horseback, with a groom following to take 

74 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 


his 'horse hack to the stables v^hen he entered the coach. 

Papa led the company with Lulie in her carriage, and he 
went with such mincing little steps that the walk consumed 
quite a little time. 

At the station some bunting was displayed and a flag or 
two waved on the engine, evidence that life on the island was 
not without its gala days and green spots, but there was no 
general display. 

At 9:40 the lever of the engine was touched and the train 
shot into the tunnel that opened its way out of the city and 
in a few minutes was rolling out through the green fields. 

The run was eastward to the main line, thence southward 
and around the fruitland loop, out again through the market 
gardens and northward to the mining country, a distance of 
fifty-seven miles, which was made in fifty and a half minutes 
by the governor's watch. 

About 4,000 miners were employed within a radius of six 
miles of Buffalo, the mining city, and 3,000 or more of them 
were at the station to greet the governor’s special train with 
cheers and the waving of flags, and the old governor, as happy 
as a boy, peeped over his spectacles and cackled in his dry, 
merry way, and made a neat speech in which he congratulated 
the miners upon “the growing greatness of the great com- 
monwealth of Alaska,” and invited them all to visit the city 
on the coming Gala Day. 

The miners lived in pretty cottages and their lives were 
happy, their lot much pleasanter than the lot of the miners 
of Pennsylvania. They had homes, with cooks and house- 
keepers to attend to their creature comforts and the liberty to 
spend their Sunday in the city whenever they desired. 

Plots were formed sometimes, it must be said, both in the 
city and in the countryside, but so perfect was the secret 
service of the island that the plots were always nipped in the 
bud and the leaders transferred to positions where they could 
be under the surveillance of the chiefs of the secret service. 


WiHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


The visitors tarried for an hour and then resumed the jour- 
ney, turning eastward from the main line over the Boston 
stem, thence ‘southward over the timberland route, thence to 
San Francisco and northward past Sitka to the fisheries at 
Chicago, and then back to the city. 

Mr. Wiggins and Mr. Oswald had each been invited to ride 
in the engine at different points on the journey, Edward com- 
ing over the fisheries branch in the cab with his hand on the 
lever occasionally, and both men were enthusiasic over their 
prospects. 

The entire party was invited to join the chief engineer at 
the public mess room and a most delightful hour was spent, 
after which the company repaired to the great temple, where 
a meeting was in progress, the peals chiming and the organ 
rolling, while voices soared out in a great song. I remember 
some verses of the song. O, how true it was : 

“The Christian spirit soars aloft 
Beyond the steepled roof; 

It bursts through all environments ; 

It rends both warp and woof ; 

To find companionship with Him 
Who sailed on Galilee 
And broke the bonds of death itself 
To set His people free. 

“The Christian spirit knows no bounds; 

Its thought is only love ; 

No kindred, nation, land or home ; 

Its goal is far above 
The ken of any human mind, 

’Tis fearless, brave and free, 

And lifts mankind to lofty heights 
True friends of God to be. 

“The Christian spirit scales the walls 
Of prisons everywhere, 

And banishes from bowed-down hearts 
Their heavy load of care — ” 


76 


the rough rider edition. 


There were other verses which I do not recall, but the chorus 
wi the chimes ringing and the organ pealing was vividly im- 
pressed upon my memory. 


“The Christian spirit soars aloft, 

Beyond the steepled roof, 

Far, far beyond, 

Far, far beyond, 

The steepled roof, 

It bursts through all environments, 

And rends, and rends 
Both warp and woof; 

Earth’s great machinery may move the few beneath the rod, 
But we are in the saddle riding closer to our God.” 


O, it was so true, for here, within these walls, was the high- 
est type of Christian civilization — the Golden Rule ruled in 
very word and deed. 


Returning to their cottage, Edward and Mr. Wiggins found 
that a copy of the Island Diaily had been left by the carriers 
for each of them, and they spent a happy hour discussing 
the contents of the little paper. 

I will close my task in the exact words used by my husband : 

“Thus, dear wife, ends my dream — like all dreams, abruptly. 
I hope to see the sequel enacted by living figures on the active 
stage of life, for the nation is getting entangled in such a web 
of laws, and justice is getting lost in such a wilderness of 
word's, that the hour has struck when the people must either 
awake from their sleep of indifference or surrender their inde- 
pendence and put out their wrists for the chains. 

“My wife,” rising upon his elbow, “a compact index of 
standard text books, treatises, reports, digests, decisions, prece- 
dents, and so on, in vogue among lawyers at the present time, 


77 


WHEN TEDDY SWINGS HIS STICK. 


alone fills one hundred ordinary 'book pages, two columns to 
the page, in the smallest of type — just the index, mind you — 
and so extensive is the language of the law that an ordinary 
dictionary of 200 pages is required to make it plain to even 
lawyers themselves. As we have forced the great insurance 
companies that handle our money to give us a square deal, with 
no mysterious manipulation of the millions of dollars we place 
with them, so we must force a. sweeping reform in our laws. 
We must burn all of the rubbish that we call laws and adopt 
an entirely new and simple code. 

“Recent writers have shown, and recent events proved, that 
the very greatest evil under which the United States of Amer- 
ica is suffering, is excessive law-making. It has been shown 
that the solemn words of Tacitus must be thundered through 
the land. His warning was in these words : ‘When the state 
is most corrupt, then the laws are most multiplied.’ It has 
been likewise shown that the words of Theodore Roosevelt 
must be thundered through the land: ‘We all know that, 
as things actually are, many of the most influential and most 
highly remunerated members of the bar in every center of 
wealth (he might safely add, in every community), make it 
their special task to work out bold and ingenious schemes by 
which their very wealthy clients, individual or corporate, can 
evade the laws, * * * doing all that in them lies to en- 

courage the growth in this country of a spirit of dumb anger 
against all laws and of disbelief in their efficacy.’ It is a 
fact, a lamentable fact, that while the poor are punished the 
rich escape punishment, for nearly every lawyer has his price, 
and jurors are ofttimes bought like sheep. 

“On my desk, beloved, is a publication issued under the 
auspices of the University of the State of New York, in which 
it is set forth that there were enacted in the United States 
during one year by our state legislatures the enormous number 
of four thousand, eight hundred and thirty-four separate and 
distinct enactments • known as general laws, while there 
were passed during the same period, in addition thereto, local, 

78 


THE ROUGH RIDER EDITION. 

special or private laws to the number of nine thousand, three 
hundred and twenty-five, making a grand total of fourteen 
thousand, one hundred and fifty-nine laws enacted in the 
United States in one year, exclusive of congressional and terri- 
torial legislation. 

“We need look, my wife, no further for the source of all our 
woes. The good Lord may give us bountiful crops and bless 
us in basket and store, but as long as we dwell under our ex- 
isting legal environments we may look in vain for peace or con- 
tentment. THE LAWYER MUST GO. WE MUST LIVE 
UNDER A CODE OF LAWS SO SIMPLE THAT THE 
LEGAL PROFESSION SPIALL BECOME OBSOLETE 
—IN SO FEW WORDS THAT THE BOY OR GIRL COM- 
ING FROM SCHOOL AFTER TWO YEARS’ TRAINING 
SHALL KNOW THE WHOLE LAW. THE CODE MUST 
BE A SIMPLE YEA, YEA, AND NAY, NAY. TEDDY 
MUST SWING HIS STICK. 

“My wife', I rest here. It should be your first duty to pre- 
pare my Dream for the press, scatter copies of it far and wide, 
and urge the importance of action in every state until the 
whole country rises and demands a New Code and an intrepid 
executive to administer it in the interest of the whole people.” 

The End. 


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